It was a grisly sight at the home of Matthew Perry late last night when paramedics stumbled upon the late actor's body under the water in his hot tub. Witnesses described the series of events as 'chaotic', with the actor apparently dying and clearing his bowels. The fecal matter then started cycling as the jets and heat continued to work, creating a poopy bonito that dissolved into a broth that "smelled like if a turd died".

The body had to be hosed off for several hours as the poouillon had stuck to his body, creating a fecal marinade that complicated the autopsy. Coroners first believed the actor had died of diarrhea poisoning, only changing their opinion after the butt brine had been cleared off.

Please continue to check this page as we update with more details.

FROMSOFTWARE has a notorious track record with the way employees are treated at the company. In 2019, a work review website based in Japan called “Career Connections” had an aggregate of 2.3 stars out of 5 with a total of 1572 reviews with half of those being < 3 stars. Employees shared how they were “pushed to our limits” and “pay was abysmal for no benefits… you work here for the experience and for the company on your resume, that is why they are able to get away with it.” With one of the lowest paying jobs in the gaming development market with employees earning a measly 23 thousand dollars a year, this is unacceptable for a studio with an office located in the highest cost of living area in Japan.

More recently with this new round of employee layoffs which has been the biggest so far in the companies history, the company doesn’t have many legs to stand on in terms of fair treatment of its workers. We reached out to a landscape designer who has been working at the company since 2011, “I and many others have worked here for more than a decade (since development Dark Souls and Bloodborne for some) it bothers me that the driving force of a lot of the creativity behind our studio is being taken for granted. From art departments to coding, we are being replaced by an AI with no feelings. They do not consider us human as they wouldn’t replace human with an inhuman.”

FROMSOFTWARE is yet to make a comment and is staying silent with their decision. It comes at a strange time as the expansion for their game Elden Ring which received high praise has yet to be released. Some theorize that the expansion cost the company an over abundant amount of funds that parent company Bandai refused to offer which lead to a bold decision of layoffs. “Take a pay cut” one former employee who wanted to remain anonymous said. “Our director makes around 20 times what we get, why should we take the hit?”

The musician, 80, read out pages of notes about a mole that had been developing near his genitals, including a worry that it would 'start annexing [his] stuff if left unchecked'. The improvised dermatology session lasted for 20 minutes - leaving audience members stunned.

Fans became enraged, eventually starting dueling chants of 'let's go d*** mole' and 'd*** moles suck', bouncing multiple beach balls around and generally getting rowdy after almost half an hour without any indication that the artist was going to sing a song.

The conflict came to a head when Waters invited an audience member to come on stage and tell him 'if it looked like melanoma'. The fan got on stage, looked at the singer's mole and genital region, threw up, then told the singer to 'f*** off and ask a doctor'. Waters immediately left the stage afterward, completely red with embarrassment, shuffling with his pants at his ankles like a little crab.

It is not clear why the fan went to look, only that what they saw was concerning enough to warrant a visceral reaction. For Waters' sake, hopefully it wasn't the mole that made them puke.

(CBS) BOSTON - The Boston Red Sox announced the death of longtime right-handed pitcher Tim Wakefield on Sunday. He was 57 years old.

The team issued the following statement:

Wake embodied true goodness; a devoted husband, father, and teammate, beloved broadcaster, and the ultimate community leader. He gave so much to the game and all of Red Sox Nation.

Our deepest love and thoughts are with Stacy, Trevor, Brianna, and the Wakefield family.

Wakefield, one of the majors' last prominent knuckleballers, appeared in 627 career games over 19-big-league seasons. He amassed a 4.41 ERA (105 ERA+) and a 1.79 strikeout-to-walk ratio. His contributions were worth an estimated 34.4 Wins Above Replacement, according to Baseball-Reference's calculations.

Wakefield began his career with the Pittsburgh Pirates. He was released early in the 1995 season, and subsequently latched on with the Red Sox. Despite debuting with Boston as a 28-year-old, he would go on to become the franchise's all-time leader in games started and innings pitched. Wakefield also ranks third in wins and sixth in Wins Above Replacement

(Reuters) LONDON - Russia's Yevgeny Prigozhin, a close ally of President Vladimir Putin, said on Sunday via ouija board that a former mercenary who was filmed being executed by a sledgehammer blow to the head after changing sides in the Ukraine war was a traitor.

Prigozhin, a Russian businessman who founded the Wagner private military group, was responding to an unverified video distributed on Telegram that showed a man identified as a former Wagner mercenary and star of the Sopranos James Gandalfini being executed after admitting that he had changed sides in September to "go home and eat an entire tray of ladyfingers".

In the footage, the 60 year former actor and combat medic was shown with his head taped to a brick wall. Gandalfini was sentenced to 25 years for possessing THC vape cartridges after flying to the pariah nation to join the national womens basketball team. He took a deal with Wagner to be released from prison early in exchange for the combat and leadership skills brought by Tony Soprano. He said he was abducted in Kyiv on Oct. 11 and came around in a cellar.

"I got hit over the head and lost consciousness and came around in this cellar," he said. "Just to be clear, Im not gay, I dont normally hang around in cellars."

As he said those words, an unidentified man loitering in combat clothing behind Gandalfini smashed a sledgehammer into the side of his meatball.

Gandalfini collapsed onto the floor as several tweeting birds flew over around his head, the disgrace actor then pleaded "waiter, check please"

Anti Italian politicians celebrated. Sergei Mironov, leader in parliament of the Kremlin loyal A Just Russia party stated: "I never liked the Sopranos, other than the scene where they kill a man for being gay. That I can get behind"

Reuters was unable to immediately verify the video which appeared on the Gey Zone Telegram channel, one of several that Russian media said was linked to the Wagner group. The video was posted under the title "The hammer of revenge".

Asked to comment on the execution video, Prigozhin said in remarks released by his psychic that the video should be called "A dog receives a dog's death".

Prigos spirit has not responded to request for comment if he has ever killed a dog in such a manner

First lady Dr. Jill Biden has tested positive for COVID-19, her communications director confirmed Monday.

"This evening, the First lady tested positive for COVID-19. She is currently experiencing only mild symptoms," Elizabeth Alexander, communications director for the First lady, said in a statement Sunday night.

Following Dr. Biden's positive test, President Joe Biden took a COVID test on Monday evening and tested negative, his press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said in a statement.

"The President will test at a regular cadence this week and monitor for symptoms," Jean-Pierre noted in the statement.

President Biden is scheduled to depart the U.S. on Thursday for a trip to India and Vietnam.