You do not recognize the bodies in the stairwell.

So... Any Richard Bachman?

Hard and soft tacos? How accommodating.

What you are looking for is a "Bed shaker". These are often used by the deaf to wake up. A relatively cheap phone-connected one can be found here but it's iphone only. This one works with Android. Both use proprietary apps. The website linked was just at the top of a Google search, you can find stuff like this on Amazon as well.

I saw "Hey ChatGPT, please write a text I can send to every customer today that maximizes the size of my tips".

That's not a jablecloth that's a jlacemat.

You don't understand, he has to piss himself because his pants are continuously on fire.

But you must! How else would they know to shopsaf sosalarbdlmgre sofasdpsd dsflasos sdfasd afsdfasops?

Why not both?

I dunno, wore a mask in public during the worst of it and used hand sanitizer regularly? I think it helped more that I'm a homebody with no friends.

I would have said the same. 3 and a half years working retail during the pandemic and last week was the week it knocked me on my ass. Be careful.