33

We do exactly the same job.

To me the idea of enjoying a job is an odd one: I don’t want to work, I only work because I need the money. If I had money I wouldn't work.

I don't know if this makes me the oddest person on earth, but where I am my coworkers sometimes make me feel so.

She asked me if I enjoy my job. I looked at her surprised while thinking to answer her with a regular blanket manager answer like ‘it is such a honor to work here, fuck yeah, I’d love to work here for free!’ or being completely sincere.

I was in a good mood, so I chose being sincere: ‘I don’t enjoy working, I work because I need to pay for the rest of my life, I enjoy cooking, writing poetry and walking through a forest.’

She looked at me a bit surprised and replied: ‘but you have to like your job.’ My answer? ‘As long as I earn money all’s good.’

This happened in a big room with like 9 coworkers hearing the convo.

Now I don’t know if I just committed job suicide where I work at, but it was liberating saying out loud at the workplace what I think a job is.

And why the fixation that you must like a job? It’s a job for fucks sake. Why do you have to like it?

To me this only confirms my current job is a cult. Am I exaggerating?

If every workplace is like this I should stick with the devil I know...

25
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

you be the judge: the extra, unpaid hours most people willingly do setting the expectation you do that too, some people coming in 30 minutes before the shift starts and proud of it (what for? Are you going to be paid more?), obsession with presenting a good image to both coworkers and clients, the fake interest in getting to know you, conversations that feel scripted, forcing you to share about you, controlling the way you speak, yelling at the foreign coworkers when they don’t speak English among themselves, taking your breaks together with the whole group, ostracizing you if you want to take your break alone, getting snippy if you state boundaries (“I don’t talk about that with coworkers”), some people ranting openly and loudly in a room full of people about a coworker they don’t like for whatever perceived sling, your manager expecting you to enjoy her stories (no, I don’t really care about you, Andrea), then expecting you to be the one doing the most demanding tasks nobody wants to do.

I even have coworkers complaining I waste too much paper and that’s bad for the company. Who gives a flying fuck about that Karen? I really don’t understand why some people are like this.

Holy shit, I was so naive. I don’t know if every workplace is like this, but I just didn’t question it and went along with it because 2 years ago the workplace seemed good enough and pays better than everyone around afaik. I don’t know if I should look elsewhere.

If I start applying elsewhere, do I even mention this? Because I don’t want this to happen to me again.

There is a chance this also happens elsewhere. Do I stick with the devil I know?

7

I don't understand his strategy, he answers the prosecutor' questions extremely vaguely. I don't know if I could act like that if called as a witness.

Is this something I should imitate when dealing with HR?

I don't understand why how he answers is not lying.

31

On an email with my manager I described a coworker I only worked with once as a small, thin woman that was either born in an East Asian country or has East Asian parents. I don't know this person's name. I don't see a better way to describe her all things considered.

The managers answer: it is disrespectful to describe people according to ethnic background or physical appearance.

My next question for this manager: dear manager, how should I describe this person then?

I don't know if I'm being genuinely disrespectful or this is a very thin skinned manager. Either way, I had to work with another coworker I didn't know either. This conversation with manager B ensued:

manager B: 'today you're working with mike'

me: 'who's mike?'

manager B: 'that fat guy'

make it make sense.

30
submitted 10 months ago by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3420358

as said previously I'm a nurse, which means the overwhelming majority of employees are women. Gossiping, being unauthentic, cattiness and passive aggressiveness is a daily occurrence.

My current unit: there are 2 men that seem to be completely stoic (I don't know what word would describe them better): they ignore drama and jabs, even if directed at them, they are punctual with their pauses, I mean really, 30 minutes and that's it, and can ignore when other coworkers lazy around, even if it means they have to be the ones doing most of the work, extra work they don't receive any extra money or recognition for.

I am writing in awe, because as much as I'd like to be this thick skinned, I am not. The feeling of being treated unfairly rubs me the wrong way really fast. My strategy so far has been to lazy around so much as my direct coworkers, even if they're part of an established group at the ward I don't belong to. They're the ones supposed to be showing me around and teach me. If they don't work, why should I?

I believe this is a trait of mine, something nearly impossible to change, it would make more sense to change the setting than trying to change me, to change jobs. I don't know how to play this game where I am, in a workplace where most employees are women.

But my question remains to all of you who are this thick skinned: how? I don't understand it. Don't you find it tiring? Doesn't it make you feel like shit when you go back home? Don't you feel taken advantage of?

20
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3347155

and what would be the point of lying?

I applied to 2 positions and got one. On both counts I shadowed for a day and was sincere.

Job 1 offered me a position I took.

Why I think the second job rejected me: I was assigned to 2 coworkers who started prying inquisitively about my job experience and expectations. I told them I don't want to go back home with back or leg pain or feeling broken, I don't mind doing my pause after 7 hours of working and not 4 but I actually NEED my pause, one every day, I also told them I don't live to work but the other way round (this is nursing).

Apparently they told management all this because during my interview with the c suite they mentioned what other coworkers think about me.

I still believe if you need a job, please do lie because you need the money. I was sincere this time because a union member told me to clearly state what you want in the beginning, so there are no uncomfortable situations afterwards.

I'm also a terrible actor, so maybe this was for the better?

This makes me value authenticity even more because one of those suites, a woman, used the strategy of faking being close to you (smiles, modulating her voice...) so you believe she actually cares about you so you let your guard down.

even though I got the other job it still stings because I was rejected for being authentic. Am I wrong?

So, in the future, do I keep being authentic or do I feed management BS? Feeding them BS always worked in the past.

78

I have a job I don't quite like and I'm shooting applications elsewhere. I work full time and I'm also looking for another job in my city that fits my qualifications. I cannot change states or move to another city, it is what it is.

So far I've sent 5 apps for positions that interest me: 2 have answered, one could offer me a different but similar job (position already filled) and the other one, while fitting what I majored in, means constant stress, plans that change constantly, even several times a day, a pay reduction and the last 2 who applied to do this quit in 4 and 6 months respectively.

At least they were honest during the interview, but I now feel depressed. I was hoping to work there and quit my current job.

55

alternative post title: how can I grow a thicker skin, so I simply stop caring what my coworkers think or say?

I'm still looking for a drama free workplace and I don't understand why people seem to enjoy creating chaos out of nowhere

Working in several industries, I've met:

  • white Christian nationalist: too many Arabs and Mexicans in our country, somebody should send them all back to where they belong, and I'm very Christian. This was 5 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Why even tell this to a coworker?

  • Married woman complaining to me about how her husband isn't so affectionate nowadays: 2 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Who does that? Shouldn't you tell this to somebody you trust, like a friend and not a stranger you met 2 minutes ago?

  • An anti vaxxer trying to convert me to his cause, or however you want to call it.

  • And just today: 'it's good that Trump was shot' Why would a sane person blurt that out in the middle of our pause for everyone to hear you? Why do you need to antagonize your coworkers? This was a manager btw.

I have waaaaay more examples, but I'll keep it simple.

I just want to work and go home. Completely drama free. I don't want to care what coworkers think, but apparently I'm very thin skinned and I'm easy to be triggered. Each of the examples I wrote triggered me: I wanted to yell 'fck off, you piece of sht, I don't give a f*ck what you think, leave me alone', or something like that. But I need the job.

My conundrum: If this happens at every workplace, wouldn't it make more sense to stay with the devil you know?

Unless, of course, you've job hopped till you found a drama free workplace... please tell me how you did it.

I want to be the old guy who doesn't give a f*ck about stuff like this, yet it still triggers me.

50
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/859143

Experiencing firsthand how difficult an aging alcoholic, quadriplegic, post stroke, narcissistic, demented or simply ‘nothing’s wrong with me, I can drive, I don’t need those meds, I don’t need to go to a nursing facility’ kinda parent surely gives you some insight on what to do, what not to do and how to prepare for our own aging and eventual demise.

How do you plan to age gracefully and what advice do you have for us all?

127

I always thought of it like this: if a workplace makes you feel devalued or is toxic (gaslighting and ranting about you behind your back), you quietly find new pastures.

Now, however, I think this is the wrong approach: why do I have to accept they bully me? I should defend myself. And doesn't the manager have to make sure a workplace ain't toxic? Instead of quietly looking for a new job next time this happens, wouldn't it be better to confront, document and escalate instead of letting it go? even if HR only exists to protect the company and not me.

If HR and manager do nothing to address the problem, wouldn't it be a better strategy to start working the least possible and let the company fire me, while looking for another job?

11

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/541868

I'm literally not a manager, I'm the newest employee here and this other coworker sits and talks to a female coworker that likes the attention for the first 50 minutes after clocking in. They don't work and nobody seems to care. Infuriating as it is, I think this is not my problem to solve.

I'm thinking about telling the manager about it, because this person has accused me of not being a team player, but the last time I went to her with a problem (about an aggressive coworker that kept throwing tantrums and things to the floor to then kick them), she wanted me to talk to this other guy. WTF am I supposed to tell him? don't act like a psychopath?

6
aaa (linux.community)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by vestmoria@linux.community to c/food@beehaw.org

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/11294896

So I have been trying to make my own tortillas. I’ll found a recipe online that was flour, water, oil, and salt that seemed decent but wasn’t very good. I essentially made tortilla shaped crackers. I’m high altitude, but with nothing rising I’m not sure that matters? Anyone have a good recipe they can share? I’m kinda going for authentic styles that you would get at a taco shop.

Thanks!

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vestmoria

joined 2 years ago