I know it's the anosognosia and it's not his fault but goddammit I cannot bear it anymore, he is an insufferable child in an old person's body, so needy and clingy, I know I shouldn't make it personal but when he's at home I cannot have a moment of peace or disengage, he is always doing some ridiculous sh%t.

I know I should stop blaming him and blame the illness but I simply cannot separate both things. It is him the one that makes me work extra hard only to keep him safe and he is also the one that yells, kicks and throws fits and argues.

have you managed to control this with meds alone?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/36437828

I don't think I could be that:

seems to be very low paid, seniors and their families can be very demanding: some family members with dementia I know are basically 78 year old toddlers, throwing a fit for ridiculous stuff, except that this toddler becomes worse with every passing day, then issues with food: too much for him, but if you take half of the food from the plate, he looks at you as if you killed a puppy (what do you expect me to do?), then the constant need of validation and laughing at his stupid jokes he repeats several times a day, completely unrealistic expectations for the day (visiting 3 malls in 4 hours), they're completely self centered children.

not.for.me, and I'm not even the main caregiver. How can you survive this kind of emotional labor?

does it pay being an occupational therapist?

As a matter of fact there is a chance we become this entitled family who feels we can dictate to an overworked occupational therapist how to do his or her job, because we're the ones paying...

what a bleak future for everyone involved.

I don't think I could be that:

seems to be very low paid, seniors and their families can be very demanding: some family members with dementia I know are basically 78 year old toddlers, throwing a fit for ridiculous stuff, except that this toddler becomes worse with every passing day, then issues with food: too much for him, but if you take half of the food from the plate, he looks at you as if you killed a puppy (what do you expect me to do?), then the constant need of validation and laughing at his stupid jokes he repeats several times a day, completely unrealistic expectations for the day (visiting 3 malls in 4 hours), they're completely self centered children.

not.for.me, and I'm not even the main caregiver. How can you survive this kind of emotional labor?

does it pay being an occupational therapist?

As a matter of fact there is a chance we become this entitled family who feels we can dictate to an overworked occupational therapist how to do his or her job, because we're the ones paying...

what a bleak future for everyone involved.

often means every 4 to 6 months, a visit to the hospital: unfamiliar surroundings, he becomes stressed and aggressive.

Nursing facility is kinda a weak answer because it takes the whole responsibility away from you, it simply transfers this responsibility to an overcrowded facility with unsustainable ratios, burned out caregivers and corporations selling you the idea they do actually care (BS) while you, naively, buy it. Your expectation is they're going to care as much as you, which is a lie: an overworked nurse is going to do the best she can but she has other patients in the facility, other patients with dementia and mood swings, patients trying to escape or sexually assault the young, fit nurse and as soon as she finds something better, she is abandoning ship.

This is modern slavery, but this is a subject for another post.

Options I see: sedate him so he becomes a plant, something I'm against. What kind of life would that be?

Another option I personally feel inclined to: don't medicate him to the point he becomes a plant, let him feel he is young again and whatever happens, happens. He is no longer aware of his age, enjoys cartoon books, let him live and die as happy and oblivious as he can be, even if this means his life is going to be much shorter. If we lock him down, he becomes either angry or depressed, he feels trapped.

I need a dnr/dni btw.

I can already hear some sisters yelling at me and calling me callous and worse things.

staying with him 24/7 is not an option, because we all have lives and jobs to do. At this point he needs constant attention.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/34045100

still deciding to fully degoogle with GOS or muddling through with what I have (proprietary, data grabbing and bloated).

To understand the question, compare with my main hardware with debian on it: a regular notebook I bought in 2016 and I've used heavily for all kinds of stuff: working, writing papers, downloading and playing media including AV1, editing audio, torrenting...

One of the best investments I ever made, considering what I paid and how prices nowadays are. Debian offers regular upgrades and I don't have to check if my hardware is going to support the software on a level comparable with android devices (GOS only runs on pixels, other open-source, privacy focused Android operating systems have similar hardware restrictions).

I want this kind of ROI for the device I buy and the software I use, but I don't know if that's possible:

GOS drops support for older pixels but I don't know how many years any particular device is supported by GOS: 3 years? not enough. There's no way I'm buying a new pixel every 3 years. I'd even consider 6 years restrictive.

still deciding to fully degoogle with GOS or muddling through with what I have (proprietary, data grabbing and bloated).

To understand the question, compare with my main hardware with debian on it: a regular notebook I bought in 2016 and I've used heavily for all kinds of stuff: working, writing papers, downloading and playing media including AV1, editing audio, torrenting...

One of the best investments I ever made, considering what I paid and how prices nowadays are. Debian offers regular upgrades and I don't have to check if my hardware is going to support the software on a level comparable with android devices (GOS only runs on pixels, other open-source, privacy focused Android operating systems have similar hardware restrictions).

I want this kind of ROI for the device I buy and the software I use, but I don't know if that's possible:

GOS drops support for older pixels but I don't know how many years any particular device is supported by GOS: 3 years? not enough. There's no way I'm buying a new pixel every 3 years. I'd even consider 6 years restrictive.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/34022186

I own 2 bloated proprietary devices and don't use them for anything important, like banking or dealing with authorities. I also don't trust the manufactures not selling my data.

Id like to have a working device with no bloatware and completely degoogled. Ironically I'd have to buy something made by google to run GrapheneOS on it. Intended use would be to use as a camera, to run CoMaps on it, pkpass files with foss-wallet, reading epubs, making phone calls and running one aurora app.

I don't need the device to play games, watch movies, show off or to play loud music, but I'd like a jack port for my headphones (I assume google headphones would cease to work if I degoogle the device, nor would I want to spend more than necessary enriching that data grabber even more.

Is there a pixel device with a jack port?

Are batteries inside pixel devices glued to the frame or can they be easy to change?

My main OS is debian. How easy is to transfer data from GrapheneOS to debian and the other way round?

Overall if you run GrapheneOS on a pixel, how many years running it and what do you think about it?

I own 2 bloated proprietary devices and don't use them for anything important, like banking or dealing with authorities. I also don't trust the manufactures not selling my data.

Id like to have a working device with no bloatware and completely degoogled. Ironically I'd have to buy something made by google to run GrapheneOS on it. Intended use would be to use as a camera, to run CoMaps on it, pkpass files with foss-wallet, reading epubs, making phone calls and running one aurora app.

I don't need the device to play games, watch movies, show off or to play loud music, but I'd like a jack port for my headphones (I assume google headphones would cease to work if I degoogle the device, nor would I want to spend more than necessary enriching that data grabber even more.

Is there a pixel device with a jack port?

Are batteries inside pixel devices glued to the frame or can they be easy to change?

My main OS is debian. How easy is to transfer data from GrapheneOS to debian and the other way round?

Overall if you run GrapheneOS on a pixel, how many years running it and what do you think about it?

cpu: Intel® Core™ i7-7500U CPU @ 2.70GHz, version: 6.142.9, size: 3268MHz, capacity: 3500MHz, width: 64 bits

also, if you could link a reliable guide for a newbie and your personal tricks to apply...

preferably with a terminal gui, like htop or iftop

debian 12.11

system memory size: 31GiB, 2 15.5 GiB cards

cpu: Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-7500U CPU @ 2.70GHz, version: 6.142.9, size: 3268MHz, capacity: 3500MHz, width: 64 bits

no graphics card whatsoever

computer can play h.265 and equivalent without troubles, provided video file is no higher than 1080 p.

Computer can play av1 files no higher than 1080 p only if I shut every other application down. If for example I run a browser and an av1 file with either mpv or vlc, system shuts down.

Can I put all that memory to use and avoid overloading the cpu?

ETA: temperature seems to be the reason why this machine shuts down. Fan is ok, not too much dust, it needs a re-paste

debian 12.11, yt-dlp stable@2025.07.21

aim: to download the best video available with the largest height but no better than 1080p, excluding av1 as well.

What works:

yt-dlp -f bv*[ext=mp4]+ba[ext=m4a]/b[ext=mp4] -S height:1080 --all-subs

but this command downloads, if possible, av1, which target hardware doesn't support for longer than 5 minutes.

Argument I don't know to add correctly:

[vcodec!*=av01]

I tried:

yt-dlp -f bv*[ext=mp4]+ba[ext=m4a]/b[ext=mp4][vcodec!*=av01] -S height:1080 --all-subs

and other variations, but it didn't work.

second question, aborting an active download not shutting the terminal down: neither ctrl+c nor ctrl+q work and opening htop to kill the process seems overkill. What I now do is to simply shut the active tab, but there must be a faster way.