Strange... It's been good so far, generally. Going to a friend's lake house next weekend. Looking forward to that! Also, finally made a Meetup account and my plans for getting my modern anemometer/windvane to ESP32 to ESP32 to Heathkit ID-4001 setup sketched out a bit more. With the CPU upgrade board, it might even have a serial output, and I could theoretically have my computer read it. That would be awesome!

Then, I had my oldest "friend" contact me out of the blue on Discord and then he called me. I got hit with a tirade of insane anti-Semitic nonsense. At some point, the fact that I'm going to try and transition MtF slipped out and he got really "worried" about me. He said these things "never end well" and that "you always hear about these things online, but it's really scary when it happens to someone you know" and that he was worried about that when he saw my Discord pfp (my character, female). I'm pretty meek/timid, but I did tell him firmly that "I don't want to talk about this with you", and he responded with "It's OK, we don't have to talk about this right now". Right now. Like we will have to eventually. Then a bunch of stuff about how he doesn't want me to be a "blood sacrifice to Moloch" and that "we're the lowest-T generation, and bombarded with all sorts of media" stuff like that. Freaky nonsense.

It's... really upsetting. I've known this guy for decades. I just feel... betrayed. Scared. I threw up after the call. He wants to call again and even hang out. I definitely don't want to. I shouldn't have told him about my plans to transition. I don't know why I did. I've told my brother, my closest (actually good, ally) friend, but not even my parents yet. So I have no idea how I let it slip to this crazy old friend. That happened about an hour ago. Still pretty shaken up about it.

Also, should note, I have never played Commander? I've got a ton of junk cards from my high school days long ago, so I'll try to make them work. My friend just bought a new house so we have a cool place to hang out. Also he has a Tappan microwave from the 1970s he'll give me if it works! It'll be huge and really be terrible compared to even mine but it would be so neat to try to integrate into my life if it's at least functional (and, of course, safe).

Not horrible! So I have been interested in HRT for a while and talked to my therapist about it. I kinda know a path forward with my doctor, which seems doable... I think? In silly news, got my Zip 100 drive working on Kubuntu 26.04 and Windows 11, which makes me happy, along with my M-Audio Ozonic through my Firewire card. I've been cleaning up my home on my therapist's requests, so that's good! Trying to take daily walks around some local parks. Friends want to play Magic the Gathering Commander, so I got some cards for that. Possibly going to a D&D Meetup group this Saturday! Things are already much better. Thanks all for listening last week.

No, you didn't sound like you were trying to tell me how to live my life at all (I appreciate the reply!)! But you're definitely right, my therapist suggested I look on Meetup for things to get me out of my house. I've been trying to drive to surrounding towns to get less nervous about leaving home too (I work from home, which is great, but it has given me some very bad habits about staying inside). Thank you for replying, and I will be sure to keep everyone informed!

Hello everyone! I know I signed up about a year ago, but I finally worked up the courage to post. My life's been... pretty rough for the past year or so. No major reason why, just my mental health being weird. Kind of old, getting older, never really figured myself out, living paycheck to paycheck in a town I don't really like, isolated most of the time. I don't want to sound like I'm whining, so sorry if I do. It's just all sort of come to a head recently, and I'm trying to figure out if it'll ever really get what I want out of life. I still have some hope that things can improve, at least, even if it's slight.