I play a game when I drive. I'll look about the driver in front of me and think, what is the stupidest,most irrational traffic decision this person could make? Nutso bonkers NO ONE will do this maneuver in the next 5 minutes.
At some point, I stopped being surprised when a driver would do exactly that. After a lifetime of driving, my mind eventually would tell me, "this one will do what you are thinking. And it shouldn't even be possible according to the laws of physics. But they will try."
I like to point at pregnant people and say "I know what you did a year ago!"
Before they respond, I add, "you went to [insert name of popular baby store]".
/This initiates confusion. And then implies, like pet stores, you can also buy baby items and a baby.
//yes, I know how pregnancy works. I have to find ways to let my weird out