When your hobby becomes your job!

Parents would find their baby child had been replaced by odd beings who were almost but not quite human.

However strange appearances aside it was their behaviour that marked them out - changelings were said to be either extremely badly behaved - constantly crying and prone to violence, or at the other end of the spectrum strangely docile, often mute and seemingly unable to comprehend anything about the human world they had been left in.

https://www.hypnogoria.com/folklore_changelings.html

Yep, totally a brand new thing that hasn't appeared throughout human history.

Wake up about 15 minutes before I have to be out the door. Just enough time to go to the loo, brush my teeth and chuck some clothes on.

If I give myself more time than I need, I just get sidetracked by something and end up making myself late.

"The mudbloods are stealing our magic!"

You joke, but crop milk is a thing:

Crop milk is a secretion from the lining of the crop of parent birds in some species that is regurgitated to young birds. It is found among all pigeons and doves where it is also referred to as pigeon milk. Crop milk is also secreted from the crop of flamingos and the male emperor penguin, suggesting independent evolution of this trait. Unlike in mammals where only females produce milk, crop milk is produced by both males and females in pigeons and flamingos; and in penguins, only by the male. Lactation in birds is controlled by prolactin, which is the same hormone that causes lactation in mammals.

I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.

(https://piped.video/watch?v=aY9GBl7UmVs)

I had a friend who moved from the US to the UK when she was about 10. We'd sit at her mum's computer and play 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?', looking up the various clues in the Cyclopaedia on the bookshelf.