I used to be more judgmental about this stuff too. Having little terrorists of my own has mellowed me. I do prefer a kid watching YouTube videos on a tablet over the kid throwing a temper tantrum at the cafe. All parents need a break. And I feel like if my parents had had the opportunity to let me watch sesame street on a handheld device in the 80s at a restaurant, they would have in a heartbeat. There were for sure other grownups heavily judging my folks for allowing me to play Tetris on the Gameboy in the 90s while we waited for our food! And I still managed to get a bachelor's degree.

At the same time, they thought watching too much TV wouldn't be good for you and I don't think that has turned out the way they feared. All gamers would automatically become sociopathic killers and they didn't. I do think "social" media has proven to be detrimental. But the internet is vaster than that BS. Most pacifying tablet use will not turn kids' brains into a rotting mess.

And as they get older you need to have numerous talks. The sex one, the online predator one, now the weird AI/chatbot one, the one that contextualizes pornography and other disturbing shit on the internet one. And at a certain point, maybe 16 or thereabouts, you have to let go and hope for the best. They will find all this stuff anyway. You probably did as well. I know I did. The only thing that has changed is ease of availability for most of this stuff. So that's what we need to prepare them for and then cross our fingers.

Are we elevating a find-and-replace script to the level of artificial intelligence now?

Machine learning is so good now that it can ID your face as a baby as well. Not always, but with enough pictures you'll reach statistical certainty.

Other than that you could maybe test DNAs. On a less invasive level, if you know your blood type, you could ask your parents for theirs and see if that makes sense.

I think that's a little unfair. They are not babysat, they're being distracted. And do you inspect every tablet to see if maybe the parents went to great lengths to curate suitable content and a child friendly walled garden? Not every tablet is unfiltered access to grooming chatbots.

Has anyone ever doubted their parents are their parents? Most teenagers about their biological parents during puberty.

Is it possible that you were abducted after running away? Yes. Is it very likely? No. These cases are rare but get lots of news coverage.

If you're under 40, the lack of pictures of your childhood could be conspicuous. Most parents document the progress of their kids and after the advent of digital photography there should be lots of evidence to put your mind at ease.

Now, Melon Usk is a dick and Xwitter and Grok can go eff themselves. And at the same time: the mother has worked as a journalist, had given no consideration to which of the "personalities" of Grok to choose to let her offspring talk to in her Tesla, had neither engaged the NSFW nor the child mode settings. In her defense, she didn't let the kid do this unattended. And of course the chatbot should not ask no one for nudes. Or genocide. Or any of the other missteps this version of so-called AI has made already.

I'm having a real hard time to picking only one side to blame here. Even if you're not a journalist, you must have picked up enough stuff by osmosis to know that this isn't something you should let your kid do without prior research and a look at the settings available.

Your wife made the decision for you collectively not break off the relationships all together. I understand that you don't like it. The adage that blood is thicker than water applies here on top of any other concern. And that's why I would tread carefully in the interest of your marriage. Another folk wisdom is that morals are something you need to be able to afford. And my guess is you will not be able to do so here in the way you would prefer. While her family is at your house, you mustn't tolerate any bullshit and you should be free to express your dismay at the protofascist state of affairs. But I would keep it at a non-shouting, non-hostile level. Your wife has spent your morals money. Try to look at it as an opportunity to change minds. If they are at your house they cannot run away, you have a semi-captive audience, in which you can sow the seeds of doubt. If there is to be another election, this is better than a clean cut, breaking off contact, and entrenching opinions out of spite on their side. Grit your teeth and roll up that rock, Sisyphus. Calm arguments and facts, tackle the ball not the player. And find a way to channel your frustration elsewhere (punching bag in the garage, walk the dog, friendly ear that maybe isn't your wife's, etc.).

What's the point of doing something by executive order that will probably be reversed on day 1 of the next administration? A better way is to go through Congress whose legislation is harder to be overturned. So your hypothetical president should lead an effort to find compromise across the aisle. Currently, a fucking budget would be nice.

Given the limited power of the president, I fail to see anything more useful this particular president could do.

Fire the VP and then resign.

Preferably perpetual sleep to drown out all the news.

6 and 24 preferably.