Do you reckon the Taliban recognizes the irony that they probably wouldn't exist without the US backing the Mujahideen?

Normalize 👏 coloring 👏 your 👏 balls.
I want multicolored balls. Plaid balls. Those frilly flower and droplet designs like on paper towels. On your balls. I'm painting a houndstooth pattern on mine right now. Balls. Paint em.

Meh, this is Let's Go Brandon all over. Just say it if you're gonna say it!

We can all make the joke "oh, if I were to rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together" but the fella that invented Qwerty really went and did it.

Of course I got the butt plugs.

Scrolling past dick enlargement oils and creams on AliExpress and thinking "Why is this even allowed? Who is even falling for this? This is just sad that people are wasting their money on something they shouldn't be that worried about." Then opening ten more tabs, deep into a Google search on how to make my penis smaller.

I'm deeply into Counter Strike right now and I heard some rumours/fear mongering that China might tax people's Steam inventories since you can have hundreds of thousands of dollars in CSGO skins. I don't know if they will but it'd be hilarious for China to go full and piss off the gamers by crashing the colored pixel economy.

Is it vegan if the cow is sapient and consents?

I must have messed up my cookies. I was using flaxseed as an egg substitute and they melted together on the cookie sheet

I'm high but I love this little bastard

Not playing with the Desert Eagle in videogames because I'm BDS.

Now imagine me saying that on stage with a Brooklyn accent and you have my new stand-up bit.