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[-] ConstipatedWatson@lemmy.world 72 points 1 year ago
[-] airbreather@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago

I'm good until I run out, I guess.

[-] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago
[-] cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

I dont like this game

[-] MudSkipperKisser@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

A little slimy and unconventional but I’m up for the challenge

[-] SmokedBillionaire@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 year ago

Finally, my time to shine.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago

I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out

[-] Bonehead@kbin.social 19 points 1 year ago

I'd say pretty fucked, one way or another.

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[-] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Pretty sure my time would be up.

[-] ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago

I planned for this exact scenario

[-] the_stat_man@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago
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[-] WarlockLawyer@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Either I'm a lawyer for warlocks making sure they don't enter tricky contracts with devils, which I assume pays well, or I'm a lawyer and a warlock so will soon have my own TV show.

[-] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Matlock the Warlock.

[-] SecretSauces@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.

[-] emmanuel_car@kbin.social 15 points 1 year ago

Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.

[-] Squidcopter@kbin.social 15 points 1 year ago

I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.

[-] MY_ANUS_IS_BLEEDING@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago

The cure is worse than the disease.

[-] TechLich@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

I guess eternal life through some profane kind of undead cyborg magic... Bad maybe?

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[-] Pepsi@kbin.social 15 points 1 year ago

It’s great.

It’s the choice of a new generation.

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[-] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 year ago

Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war

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[-] the_kung_fu_emu@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

I'm more worried about innocent bystanders tbh...

[-] jerrythegenius@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

emu war ptsd intensifies

[-] Vanth@reddthat.com 13 points 1 year ago

Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.

On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.

[-] TheBest@midwest.social 12 points 1 year ago

Pretty good I think!

[-] ImPoopin@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Guess Im poopin.

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

[-] lagomorphlecture@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

[-] UnculturedSwine@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

I have meat at least

[-] doc@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago

I'm in GREAT shape. :D

[-] TheDarkestShark@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

I guess I'll just jump into the nearest body of water, even better if it's at night.

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[-] Ibex@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐

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[-] Sensitivezombie@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 year ago

Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.

[-] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.one 10 points 1 year ago

Can i manifest it as a super power?

[-] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 10 points 1 year ago

I guess something is better than nothing.

[-] eatthecake@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I'm pretty happy.

[-] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened

[-] 20inmyhead@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

I guess I’m in my twenties forever now‽

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[-] apfel@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

[-] Krudler@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

For fuck sakes, can we not do this on Lemmy

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[-] otter@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago

Roll around in some kelp and then float away

[-] NorthWestWind@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

[-] 0oWow@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!

Not happy about this, but present

[-] BadEngineering@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.

[-] Facebones@reddthat.com 8 points 1 year ago

....... Ohhh.......

...... Ohhhh nooooo........

(unless it doesn't have to be literal if I can get a job voicing Facebones let's fuckin gooooo)

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[-] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.

or I die by licking a diseased corpse.

So, hard to tell if its good or bad.

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this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2024
156 points (100.0% liked)

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