417
bonus if she's real (lemmy.world)
all 38 comments
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[-] TxzK@lemmy.zip 114 points 11 months ago

Mine is

  1. Consenting adult
[-] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 78 points 11 months ago

Now, I don't want to be too picky, but her being alive would be nice.

[-] fl42v@lemmy.ml 29 points 11 months ago

> Hi mom, hi dad! Meet my gf [redacted]!

*whispering*

> Yes, she's a little bit dug up corpse, but don't say that around her: she's kinda sensitive about it.

(Stolen from a random video/podcast)

[-] ignotum@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

I also get upset when people say i look like a corpse,

Just because i am one doesn't mean you have to constantly point it out!

[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

I mean, alive, consenting age, not Intellectually disable, not in a coma.. also, we all know can"t be fat

[-] SamLeeway 53 points 11 months ago
[-] KpntAutismus@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

instance checks out

[-] eya@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 11 months ago

Female (optional)

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 46 points 11 months ago

Not even that. If they are just feminine thats enough for me

[-] ARk@lemm.ee 11 points 11 months ago

furries have entered the chat

[-] morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.de 31 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

So closed-minded! I'm sure you could loosen a bit this criterium, think of all the cute cat-eared femboys available in your area.

edit: typo

[-] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 27 points 11 months ago

Same energy as a straight dude trying to 'fix' a lesbian.

[-] subwoofer@lemmy.gockandgum.party 15 points 11 months ago

Bro we are in a shitposting community

[-] Dasnap@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

This is what Arlo's legs actually look like.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 11 months ago

just below the camera it just instantly cuts to full-sized human legs wearing thigh-highs, mercifully the transition is hidden by the miniskirt

[-] SaltyIceteaMaker@iusearchlinux.fyi 6 points 11 months ago

Well something could certainly be loosened, and im not referring to the criterium

[-] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

They are pretty good at hiding in my area.

[-] DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 11 months ago

So what distro of Linux do you use?

[-] morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 11 months ago
[-] DrownedRats@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago

Negotiable...

[-] ransomwarelettuce@lemmy.world 30 points 11 months ago
[-] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 28 points 11 months ago

Too bad you're cutting off half of human population! ;-)

[-] callyral@pawb.social 21 points 11 months ago

Meanwhile, here are my Garfield requirements:

  1. is an orange cat

  2. is funny

  3. is part of a comic strip called "Garfield"

[-] TwentySeven@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

My Garfield requirements are #1 and #3

[-] PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You only date females? Wow that's a really offensive and insensitive thing to say. Also unrealistic, as this criteria blocks out half of all people. Prepare to get cancelled /s

[-] mechoman444@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

Preferably but negotiable.

[-] Secret300@sh.itjust.works 15 points 11 months ago
[-] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Someone is being too picky...

[-] MrGerrit@feddit.nl 8 points 11 months ago

I'll settle for a ai driven robot girlfriend at this point.

[-] ryannathans@aussie.zone 4 points 11 months ago

Contentious

[-] BreadOven@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Those requirements disclude many other options. You may want to reconsider.

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 11 months ago

@Deceptichum@kbin.social knows how I feel about girlfriends.

[-] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Why? What do they know? :o

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Girlfriends have a poor ROI. No serious financial advisor would recommend having a girlfriend in your portfolio.

[-] GardenVarietyAnxiety@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago
[-] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 11 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://www.piped.video/watch?v=j2OUsgqhlco

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
417 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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