Based off a post I made on Reddit a while back. Hope y'all enjoy.
Edit: Since people are mentioning it - the stat buffs do not matter. I was being silly when I threw those in. But yes, the scale is 0-100.
Fatigue mask seems cool, until you're just spending 7 extra hours a day procrastinating doing the thing you thought you'd use all this extra time to achieve.
The glasses are OP. With them, nobody can even be mad at you for all the procrastination.
Fatigue mask fixes my insomnia, I like to think that the world isn't ready for that amount of unbridled power
..... In reality, I probably just exist as I do today, just less knackered
The hours are great but falling asleep instantly and waking up fully rested.. oh my.. I don't remember the last time I felt fully rested even after 8 hours.
The penny is OP. Flip a coin, get a heads, buy the most expensive lottery ticket at the gas station. Wait 2 weeks, repeat. Infinite money glitch
I was trying to avoid "cool item give big money" because that's exactly what I did when I posted the idea on Reddit. It was a set of dice that would give the winning lottery numbers and then scatter like the Dragon Balls. And then guess what half of everyone chose. At least the penny can be used for things other than gambling. Idk maybe something like that should be a single use item to balance things out.
It's functionally a wish every 4 weeks, and you know if you'll succeed or not before you attempt whatever it is.
Win the lottery, invent time travel, learn to fly, solve world hunger, conquer the universe, create the other artifacts...
The mask, the penny, and (depending on how hand-wavey you get) the glasses, are on a different power level than the other two.
7 extra hours of life per day, at full rest?
On demand money(gambling), or better(anything else, like applying at a school), though unreliably, once a month?
Auto-navigate to your desired outcome when other people are involved?
Yeah, life-breaking shit
Ok, the mask if you are actually rested and not just "feeling rested". Being hit with the physical effects of sleep deprivation and having organs start failing after a couple weeks would be a real problem.
Otherwise, that damn penny. Knowing that I have 12 hours of "I win" without any real limitation, even if it ends up being 12 hrs/month, would be obscenely broken. None of the other artifacts even come close. I make sure I always flip on a Monday at about 8am, if it's heads, I apply for jobs I want and trade some stocks until about 1 pm, then go for a walk and see what goodness I can fall into for my life. Head home around 6pm with 2 hours of perfect luck left which I spend working on the cure for Autoimmune diseases and Cancer. Once I have enough wealth built up and have found plenty of cures to Salk the hell our of to piss off the pharma companies, I start working on Nuclear Fusion. Continue this pattern until I get bored.
I agree, with one huge exception. Why the hell are you wasting your lucky coin applying for jobs?
Also, sure, do some trades once to get some starter money. But that's a waste of your precious 12 hours a month. As is going for walks. You can be on vacation the other 98% of the time; spend every second of your penny time doing as much good as you can.
Cure diseases, solve nuclear fusion, end wars and violence, build infrastructure. There seems to be no limit the way it's worded. Hell, build the Enterprise from Star Trek (or a better space ship) and spend your non-penny time exploring the galaxy.
Do physical laws even apply? Can you build replicators for everyone? How about a mansion in a tardis for every person on the planet?
For how long do you have to try something to succeed at it? Maybe you can do each of these things in just a couple seconds. If that's the case, maybe penny time will quickly become non-valuable if you run out of ideas.
Coin
Look, the glasses are nice and all, but they don't give you a 50% change to win the lottery and randomly realise a way to prove/disprove the Riemann hypothesis every two weeks
I wonder how this works with elections. In my country, the votes are counted within 12 hours. When I'm voting on a party, I am attempting to make said party the largest one. Does the coin just give me a 50% chance to unilaterally decide my government every election cycle?
Edit: oh shit, it's not 50% chance, but 100% after it came into effect once. The first time it lands on heads, try to guess the next flip's outcome by guessing it would be heads. Since the coin is in effect, this guess is correct, even though the next coin will only be flipped in two weeks
In other words, the coin just gives you reality warping for halve a day every two weeks
The sleep mask looks like the obvious bet. Have you ever been awake for 20 hours straight? It's not debilitating, but after about 18 I start getting woozy. I'm gonna go with it anyway, because even if I take the penny and win the lottery, the one thing money can't buy is time
You can still go to bed if you're tired. Just put on the mask when the cooldown is up. Or don't.
Au conteaire, money well spent does, in fact, buy time. If you are broke and have to spend half your day riding buses to get your errands done and you buy a car and can get them done in an hour or two, that is half a day you just bought. If you can hire a maid and a chef, that is all of the time that would have been spent cleaning and cooking that you now get to figure out how to spend. Don't let anyone lie to you that money cannot buy time, because being able to use money to speed up tasks or offload them entirely is literally buying time.
The penny, then I’ll try and take the rest. (Flips coin, it landed on heads!)
Get fatigue mask.
Work out until completely destroyed
Put on mask
Wake up refreshed
Rinse repeat until I can crush stones between fingers
Dig a lithium mine by hand
Dominate the battery market and develop affordable electric vehicles
Use money to build large tubes
Use personal strength to javalin throw that shit into space
Get obscenely rich
Buy facebook actually make it better
Change name legally to: Fuck you Elon Musk
23 hours a day instead of 16 to 19 seems real good. That's like living considerably longer.
Idunno, now I'm conflicted. On the one hand, having 20ish more years to enjoy life would be great, but winning the lottery via the penny would make the 40ish waking years I have left much higher quality
Will the sleep mask make me well rested or the regular not rested I usually get from sleeping 8 hours?
Sleep disorders, checking in!
I'll do you one better and rank these instead.
I really wanted to put the caffeinated shoes at number 1, but the lucky Penny sounds OP.
Also, the underwear is an unfortunate item because most people who need it wouldn't choose it. It's also the only item that could be simulated with one hour of effort a day (at most) for most people.
Nah, glasses need to be ranked much higher. Do you realize how powerful those are just in every day use? Always impress at job interviews or reviews for promotions/raises? Use in sales jobs or anything customer/client facing to always come out of it ahead? Not only being able to be effortlessly popular in all forms of relationships, but also always know the right things to say to help those people or help them feel better?
"Social situations" is such a broad term that applies to so much of life, and being able to navigate them perfectly implies more than just schmoozing your way to the top. They'd help you do better and be better, basically everywhere.
Coin is overpowered af. Just flip the coin and buy a lottery. At that precise moment, all other items are practically useless.
You can hire a cook, sleep, buy whatever you need, hire people to do your bidding. Who needs charisma when they have money?
It is overpowered af but don't use it to get money. Use it to get the charisma glasses and each of the others during your first 12 hours (coincidently, they will all be close and easy to grab). Then attempt to write out an exhaustive list of any other objects or abilities that might threaten you (or maybe start with this one, as the glasses are the only one that threatens you from the original list). I'd say hopefully no one else has some other object or ability that warns them of anything that might threaten them, but yours might nullify theirs during your 12 hours. Attempt to deal with the list before half the time has passed.
Then start attempting to gain new abilities. Or attempt to find 28 more coins. 28 instead of 27 so that you can flip the next coin before the current one runs out and never fail the next flip. The sleep mask ensures you never sleep through a transition. Not that you'll even need the ability to be constantly active.
"Anything you attempt" is waaaaay too broad.
I don't know, the shoes are pretty tempting. I can Sprint at about 10 miles an hour for about 30 seconds right now. Multiplying those by 5 would let me Sprint at 50 miles an hour for two and a half minutes.
I would be the closest thing the real world has to having the flash, or you know kind of like an overweight Sonic the hedgehog
Ok … duh … the glasses are the best artifact.
You could be running the world in no time with that kind of charm applied to politics.
If I equip the shoes and the frying pan, I can RP as the scout from tf2.
Couldn't you use the penny and just attempt to find the cure for death? It makes everything else silly.
If I had to put these on a personal tier list
S Tier:
Cool Glasses - As someone on the spectrum who is below-average in terms of physical attractiveness, the one thing I sorely lack is rizz. The ability to put on a pair of glasses and be able to automatically pass any job interview, make any new friends, sell any product, chat up any woman, etc would be massive. Also, no cooldown.
Fatigue Masking Mask - Gaining an extra 7 waking hours of time in a day is massive. If you're productive this is the artifact to go for.
? Tier:
B Tier:
C Tier:
D Tier:
Does the underwear cover basic grooming and self care? I.e. do I still need to trim my fingernails, shave, apply sunscreen?
What about the health benefits of staying clean? I mean nice breath is fine, but if I stop brushing will I get cavities? If I get a cut, do I still need to clean the wound to avoid infection?
This was where I went as well. It’d be fine to appear immaculate, but actually purging every piece of filth from yourself, instantly, constantly is terrifying. Most especially when you consider it a bit further- it’s essentially an erosion field, regardless of how it performs the task. In the most extreme extension of its abilities, it may prevent any of that ooky lead hollow point from landing on you. It’s too vague.
I would go crazy just to have the fatigue masking mask.
1 hour... fully rested??? Assuming one gets 8 hours of sleep a night (though, who is really getting 8 a night on lemmy?), you've just converted your ratio of sleep-to-awake from 1:2 to 1:23.
Extreme change imo, plus gives you the benefit of having time to take care of your hygiene anyway.
That underwear is cracked, gimme gimme.
also the coin holy shit, time to do some crimes
I've always been envious of people with great social skills. I could accomplish a lot more if I had them. The glasses for sure.
12 hours of solid fucking global mayhem every two weeks on a 50/50?! I’m patient. I’ll take the lucky penny.
We need scales, is +100 luck = maximum luck? Or is it a logarithmic scale? We need context here.
Easily the penny. The mask is tempting to have more time in my day but I can just gamble and make a ton of money meaning I wouldn't have to work. It would also help with a ton of other stuff.
The lucky penny is broken af. For example, you can use it to replicate everything else on the list or learn abilities to match them or better.
Basically, it's exactly how luck is purported to work in various fictional universes. It's kinda similar to Constantine's (hellblazer) ability.
Edit: I am seeing people disagree with the penny, but unless the penny is magical in not only giving you luck but also in how the flip goes you can practice to make the flip go in your favour by practicing (I have been able to take the equivalent of a penny in my country and make it fall on the exact side I want almost every time)
With no explicit negative feedback and the penny going dormant in between, you can absolutely practice it. Hell make it so the first time you get the lucky heads you both practice and attempt to make the penny's lucky effect permanent or at least semipermanent so that it goes in your favour the next fortnight you are supposed to flip it (if it can't be made permanent without flipping)
Take the underwear and go into the deep ocean or outer space.
Unlimited fresh breath is an invaluable bonus.
I wonder if the underwear also works if the user gets splashed with neurotoxin or hit by a wave of radiation. I know theres gotta be a clear cutoff but I'm not sure where it is.
Don't get me wrong, running faster than Usain Bolt seems cool, too. The sleeping mask seems like a great idea at first until you realize it would increase your food expense dramatically.
The sleeping mask seems like a great idea at first until you realize it would increase your food expense dramatically.
So what?? It would add years to your life! Imagine having 7 more hours of wake time every day for a decade! 7/24 or 29% more conscious life time! This is absolutely my choice :)
Fatigue Mask OP. I'll take 2.
I was sold on the mask at "the wearer go falls asleep in 30 seconds" then read the rest. Undeniably the best one here.
Sincerely, a night owl who takes forever to fall asleep, and is perpetually tired
All these people out here making these posts, but do any of you ever work on creating the things you're telling me about? Noooooooo.
Gimme my damned magic sleep mask and penny, dammit!
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker