Tinder, Azar, Her, Hinge, match.com, meetic, Ok Cupid, Plenty of Fish, and The League are all owned by a single company.
The ratio of women to men on their dating apps are also wack.
Hinge, Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish and others are owned by one giant company called Match.com. You are not ugly, a monopoly just puts you down the pile by algorithm to prompt you to pay to increase your chances of more likes (that's not to say that making your profile look good doesn't matter). There are independent dating apps like Coffee and Bagel and Bumble, but either those apps don't have many people or copying Match's anti-consumer behaviour like Bumble does.
Can Lemmy be used for dating?
That really depends: are you looking for a nerdy man who lacks social skills or are you t4t and super online? If so, yeah probably. If not, feel free to try
Any platform can be used for dating
I have read about people trying to use LinkedIn for dating, and I feel like that's a red flag. Those men should probably be quarantined.
Everyone on LinkedIn should be quarantined.
There's Alovoa... an open source platform but it's even less densely populated than Lemmy
Dating apps should be publicly funded like a kind of public utility. And private dating apps heavily regulated and prevented from advertising. Because currently they making profit by keeping you single.
Like water and air, love should not be for profit.
We need 3rd spaces, online dating is just worse in general. People meet at trading card places and card shops because that's just where people hang out, but that doesn't exist anywhere else really besides bars.
People are becoming more isolated and more online, it's way easier to see if you like someone (and you'll be exposed to many people) if they happen to be in your vicinity rather than typing in text on a dating app.
And they're fake hikers and travelers too. I met somebody irl who said one of their interests was eating food but they just go to the places for the vibes and not for the food. Whereas I'm the complete opposite, I would go to a crack den for the best food.
A date I had said their hobbies were walking and hiking among other things. Our 1st date was at a local park with a 20 step stair case that took her out... It was my first exposure to this bizarre labelling that goes on here.
There wasn't a 2nd lol
Humans are just animals at the end of the day. This is all a sexual display of fitness. Hiking and traveling tell people you're physically and financially fit. You can move around no issue. You are social. You are socially and physically healthy.
They lie a ton and show pics of hiking from 5 years ago and act like they can still do all that. Or they never could and the pics are deceiving... Regardless, it's just a game all genders are playing to show sexual fitness. It looks like carbon copies because it's the best way to communicate "my body moves well and I can afford luxury".
I spent years getting frustrated on the apps, now I'm ending up marrying my best friend's sister who I've known for 16 years and I was always too afraid to ask out. Turned out she was feeling the same way.
Life's weird when you're socially awkward.
"Hellen Keller wasn't real" is an immediate swipe away from a profile. I don't care if they're joking or if they're actually a nut job conspiracy theorist. If the latter, obviously we're not gonna vibe, and if the former, that entire joke/line of thinking is prefaced on ableism and the idea that a deaf and blind woman could not have accomplished what she did, not to mention the erasure of a prominent socialist, suffragist, and activist. I fucking hate that joke.
This is the first I've ever heard about it, and I'm so confused
It started as a joke, and now there are actual people who believe that she was either not a real person, or that her accomplishments were faked. People with disabilities are already assumed to be lesser than able bodied people, and this particular trend is stripping away one of the most prominent examples to the contrary. It is also erasing one of the most prominent examples of a famous socialist woman in American history, and a southern American socialist woman at that. Her story is amazing, but more importantly, she is historically significant. She is an example to so many people, and she has been liberal-washed for a century, and now she's being erased entirely. It's disgusting.
A VERY prominent and UNAPOLOGETIC socialist. The way history has defanged her and turned her into a simpleton who learned to speak is an absolute appalling insult to the strong, principled woman she was.
What's this "Helen Keller wasn't real" meme? I've never heard (or seen) it
Just a dumb conspiracy theory where people either think a) she wasn’t actually blind and deaf, or b) she didn’t actually write the books she wrote and shrugs everything she achieved.
https://www.distractify.com/p/is-helen-keller-real-conspiracy
Years ago, a friend of mine once had: "Seeking partner skilled in armed combat for the coming apocalypse. Must not be averse to cannibalism" as their bio.
Got 'em a couple DMs I think
I honestly can't afford to lose my wife because there's no way I would find another partner in the modern dating scene. I feel like the bar is way higher than it was in the early 2000s.
I felt exactly this way, and then my wife left me in at the start of this year. The apps are now a complete shitshow compared to when I last used them in ~2020, and I'm not in any kind of scene adjacent to dating. This isn't directed at you (good luck in your marriage), but to anyone else reading this there is hope. I randomly bumped into a girl six weeks ago, plucked up the courage to ask for her number (I've literally only done this once in my life) and we've been going steady since. I now believe in karma and am happier than I've ever been.
and think Helen Keller wasn't real
wat? I'm not on any dating apps, is this a real conspiracy theory people believe?
Probably just messaging fake accounts/bots to make it look like women use the app but then real women get the flack for it
Yeah, that's what they do. People don't notice that? I've known several guys that worked this kind of jobs on and off when really strapped for money. Pretending to be women online. Unethical AF, of course, but this is more widespread than you could possibly imagine. And it's not hard at all to get hired. I feel sorry for the dudes falling for it, though.
>Why can't I get a partner by sitting alone in my room and swiping?
>This must be the fault of women
You know, I’m very much for equality, but in this situation a woman can do exactly that and get loads of dates.
It’s the initial connection that is the highest barrier for men, after that, yeah, kinda need to leave the house to get a partner.
Meanwhile OP's profile
Dating apps are the worst, the absolute worst, way to meet people. I met my husband in a chat room and that's fucking awful right? Dating apps are worse. Go on blind dates, set your friends up, go and scream in the middle of a park, all of those are better than dating apps. Humans don't work like catalogues.
at least "designed to be deleted" part of it is truthful. Nothing else to be done with that garbage program.
He's got a point about carbon copy profiles, they all blur together after a while, and it's very difficult to find something interesting to talk about in a lot of them.
"fostering men until they find their forever homes."
I see this one at least 10 times a day.
I mean.. most people are kind of boring. It's not surprising that most profiles will thus be kind of boring.
The biggest factors I think are
The apps suck and are a capitalist nightmare, but there's stuff you can do to improve the odds as a free user.
I just remembered some guy on lemmy that was like "i can't get any dates on these things!" and when pressed, he revealed that he'd talk to women on there for a couple weeks, and then was surprised when nothing happened. No shit. You gotta ask people out.
Dating apps belong to a trash can. Hobby is the best place to find a partner. Go to a local meet up to play board games, hike, cycle, jam, improv, debate or whatever. The only way left in the modern world
Hobby is the best place to find a partner.
no it fucking isn't. I can 100% guarantee the nerds reading this that your wife isn't going to appear in the progressive metal moshpit, the netrunner tournament or the climbing center...
well I mean, that last one has a chance of happening, but don't hit on women where they exercise for fuck sake. Also, Disregard females, acquire ascents.
Yeah... "Join a hobby group" is the the go-to answer for people who are devoid of ideas but still want to feel helpful.
Honestly, I think there's something to be said for going back to "little old lady in the community who matches up young singles."
Reminded me of a terrible joke.
Why couldn’t Hellen Keller drive a car?
Because she was a woman.
I had a similar experience with hinge after a 7-year long relationship fell apart. The most vapid, basic profiles devoid of any individual personality. I think the way hinge does their profiles leads to that. I eventually gave up and instead of trying a different app, i just realized that I like being single.
Instead of spending my time swiping on basic bitches, I took up painting, hiking, got back into practicing my instruments again and joined the local symphony and a celtic fiddle group, became more active in niche online spaces and made a ton of friends there, etc.
At this point I honeslty can't even imagine inviting a woman into my life and being beholden to her whims and expectations 🤷🏼♂️
From multiple apps Hinge actually worked out the best for me despite having some traits that aren't ideal for dating apps (short, unemployed, autistic). The algorithm adapts quite quickly to what you like so I see mostly alternative people, nature friends and scientists. I've been using it for a few weeks and out of my 7 matches 5 were biologists.
The dude is right tho about sending likes and comments being useless, every match I got was from women liking me first. But that's where Hinge is better than other dating apps: you see who liked you without having to pay.
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