I have 3 kids. The most tired I had ever been was working a dead end job in my 20s.
I'll say this about having a little guy. I've never felt like I'm wasting my time when I'm with him.
Work, hobbies, chores, the daily grind of life. There's a sense of ennui.
But whether I'm changing diapers or tossing him around at the pool, it's never a minute I regret.
That's love my dude
Ain't that the truth
The best advice I got related to this is that "it's not a competition."
I kept putting off taking care of my health because I wasn't as burnt out/sick/tired/as much pain as someone else. So if they were still moving forward I should be too, right?
No. I didn't need to wait until my chest cold was pneumonia because the chemo was worse for my friend. Or my limp wasn't as bad as their constant pain. Or I wasn't as bone-tired as them, I'll just chug some caffeine.
If you are breaking down, you are breaking down.
We don't expect a wooden bridge to hold under the same daily stresses as the Golden Gate. We fix them both as they meed repair. We don't wait until the Golden Gate needs repair to fix all the other ones.
I wasn’t unsympathetic beforehand or anything, but dealing with an extremely high energy kitten that literally could not be silent for more than 6 hours in a row made me understand infant parent crash outs a lot more. After months of not getting enough sleep you start to go insane. And this was just for a kitten that woke me up too early, I wasn’t even responsible for all the parent shit on top of it.
I've got two kids running around and they can be incredibly exhausting. The first couple years were pretty rough. But I will say, nothing has been as rewarding as random "I love you dad" hugs from them. Every long night and missed event is completely worth it in that moment.
Parents deal with a lot of stuff. Non-parents also deal with a lot of stuff. We should all support each other, no matter where we are in our lives. Dealing with hard stuff is hard.
I’m working a dead end job (more like career—I’m a programmer) with no kids. The fun in the work is gone and I feel unmoored. I’d honestly be okay with exhaustion caused by watching kids grow and learn, over the exhaustion I have from being forced to use AI while learning nothing.
I feel you. I'm thinking of getting out of my dead end office job (dead end unless I want to get into management, and I don't) and apprenticing as an electrician or something. Yeah it's physically harder but I'm just sick of what I'm doing.
Can't take the paycut yet though.
You and I are in the same boat, friend. The money is too hard to turn away. The upside is that I really enjoy the folks I work with. Electrician, plumber, carpenter—they all sound intriguing. My dad went from electrical engineer to carpenter. Loved it.
I also got lucky with my direct coworkers, they're great. Some of the people from other teams.. eh.
I just need to get things squared away so that I can get a good year or two into an apprenticeship, assuming union, then I'd be doing fine financially and by the time I'd get to journeyman I'd be making a little more than currently.
But boy that's getting tougher to do every day. Rents up, utilities are up, groceries are up. I'm already self hosting several things that have cut out most of my subscriptions (just started hosting music, and it's actually pretty good, no "discovery" but I'm solving that with excessive numbers). It's a process, but I'm hopeful I'll get there in about a year. Also a bit worried I do all this and hate the new thing too lol.
In any case good luck to you.
I mean, it's always been a lot of fun to have kids, exhaustion or not. Literally the greatest and most long running project in most lives, and a source of meaning if not always happiness. I think people are crazy to deny themselves that kind of grounding and foundation to build a life on, but I acknowledge that people have different desires and goals in life.
I think there is a difference between single days of exhaustion and long periods of tiredness that you don't know when you'll be able to rest again.
Unless you are doing 50 hours+ at an extremely shitty job type deal, or have some challenging mental illness, you probably haven't dealt with anything as difficult as the first 2 years of having a kid.
It doesn't mean you aren't going through shit or that a parent who says that isn't an asshole. But you probably haven't, been through anything remotely as emotionally physically challenging, it's just reality. There will be edge cases but you just probably haven't dealt with that level of sleep deprivation and anger 🤷♂️.
It's silly to get mad over it.
Just because you can't imagine other scenarios besides the ones you listed doesn't mean there are none.
People can be exhausted for different reasons.
What's silly is seeing you gatekeeping the way you are in this very thread of all.
edit: grammar
Beyond scenarios that you don't have experience with, there are also physiologies you don't have experience with.
People with ADHD find some activities that are generally considered exhausting relaxing. Also they might argue folding the laundry is more exhausting than perhaps anything.
I would rather fix a machine that is literally on fire than fold laundry.
I used to work 7x 20-hour days in a row once a year for about 5-6 years, sleeping on the floor of the office to get an 150k-word academic journal published.
Caring for a kid is one thing, trying to proof read academia at your fourth sunset-sunrise cycle in a week is another.
Being tired while having kids is a moving goal post. You think to yourself "no one can live like this" and then you find a new depth of stamina and it doesnt seem so bad until they get a little older and find new ways to exhaust you and the cycle repeats
Man tea and a nap sounds fucking great. I got some really nice teas from a shop in a city nearby and they are super good. I have a chinese dragonwell green tea that is excellent and a rose hip and apple herbal tea that is really tasty
classic ragebait works every time
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