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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by Goodman@discuss.tchncs.de to c/poetry@lemmy.world

Give me feedback you cowards!

I wrote this in 60 minutes so there must be something you can remark upon.

Halt!

This is an attention robbery! You'll read my poetry till finality or, it'll cost you your dignity! Now give me every dime of y'r time!

Don't be bored, no need to fear, I'm not like the real robbers here. They, don't respect their spoils like me! I actually savor your time you see.

No, I have a spine so I rob with rhyme. They would trap you in their web Stab you with subscriptions And ad-insult to y'r injury.

Now hand over that feedback wallet, and be on your way, wanderer Steer clear of the algorithm wood. Those robbers are up to no good.

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[-] HeartyOfGlass@piefed.social 1 points 6 hours ago

Really enjoy this. No notes, here. I like the personality of it.

[-] Carrolade@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Nice.

One small thing, you're actually not writing prose, you're writing in verse. Prose is all normal, everyday writing. Most books, newspapers, journals, letters, emails, txt msgs etc etc are written in prose. Anything with a structure, though, like poetry or a song is written in verse, which is more structured and stylized than prose.

So, you're asking us to read your verse/poetry/rap/whatever and not your prose.

Other than that, I liked it.

[-] Goodman@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Ah yeah I see, I was under the impression that the set of prose included poetry, but it explicit excludes rhyme and metre. Thanks for the clarification. Glad that you liked it!

[-] Akagigahara@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Is there a type in the second stanza, last line?

savor you time

Instead of

savor your time

[-] Ziglin@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Any good Brit could tell you that there is another typo hiding right in the word savour.

[-] Akagigahara@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Considering I am not British, I wouldn't have noticed it, lol.

[-] Goodman@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 days ago

Now that I have you here. What do you think of the third stanza? I think it's the weakest, but I also like it the most.

[-] Akagigahara@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

I am not very good at critiquing, don't really know what to pay attention to. Especially for poetry. It's fine to me, I don't think it is weak. Has some fun word play.

[-] Goodman@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Yes there is a typo, I'll correct it, thanks!

this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
48 points (100.0% liked)

Poetry

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A community to celebrate published and OC works of poetry.


Welcome to !poetry


Guidelines & Community Rules

In addition to the general rules of lemmy.world:

Published Poetry

1a: Poetry posts should include the title and the author, when the author is known.

O.C. Poetry

2a: Sharing original poetry is encouraged, but it must be preceded by the tag "[OC]."

2b: If an [OC] post is requesting feedback, it should also follow with the "[FB]" tag. It would look like the following example:
[OC] [FB] Nothing Gold Can Stay

Feedback

All feedback should be given in good faith.

3a: All [FB] requests should be met with comments constructive in nature. It is okay to dislike parts of a poem, but make sure to explain why you feel that way.

3b: Feedback does not need to be extraordinary in nature. Simply expressing how a work makes you feel is often enough.

3c: Use the honor system. When you receive good feedback, return it in kind to another author. Everyone appreciates knowing their work is being read and appreciated.

As this community develops, these guidelines may be adjusted.


Formatting Help
Work in progress

To create a line break, use two spaces at the end of a line.

To create empty space, type  . Use four of these at the beginning of a line to create a standard indent.

UPDATE:
Some methods of access do not format markdown correctly. I am currently testing various apps and web interfaces to see what does and does not retain formatting.

In the interim, it is encouraged to post text poetry as you normally would, but to include a link at the beginning or end of the post with access to a website or image that retains the formatting as intended.


Other Poetry Communities
Poetry lovers unite! In the style of the fediverse, multiple poetry communities have arisen, and will continue to rise. I will try to keep a list here of communities across instances that are worth checking out!


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