like crap I’m 90% sure the original post said shit. It’s ok, it’s the internet, you can say shit
whenever people use elementary school swears like 'heck' and 'crap' and 'darn' it really weirds me out. vibes of smothering christian parents and ranch dressing
It like to save the "big swears" for when I really fucking mean it
Some people don't want to come off as really crass and aggressive. I don't understand why people get so offended by polite language. It's not a religious thing, plenty of religious people swear up a storm.
My dad was in the army, so he was no stranger to swearing. My parents weren't strict or religious when I was growing up. I just didn't like how harsh and, frankly, how stupid swears sounded, so I decided not to use them.
People like to say "you can swear on the internet", but just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do it. The people on the internet are every bit as real as people off the internet and words can cause a whole lot of hurt. Why not make the internet a more friendly and inviting place?
Does it really hurt anyone that this person edited this post to match their personality better? Why is this even a big deal?
Its not the polite language that bothers me, its when its obvious that someone is self-censoring for no reason.
I don't expect someone to use a swear word every time it fits. I do expect someone that tells me to frick myself to just say fuck because that's what they mean. Its weird.
Why not make the internet a more friendly and inviting place?
Have you heard/read about how this isn't why some folks are doing this? I suspect part of the reason for this thread is that people don't feel like those doing this are doing so to match their personality and genuinely being more polite, but more to work around corporate social media's algorithms purportedly downplaying more "crass and aggressive" language.
It's not that they're offended by polite language or attempts to be friendly, but they're put off and made uncomfortable by what reads as performative kindness/hospitality. Like have you seen the movie Get Out? Or read/seen the movie adaptations of The Stepford Wives? For some folks these gestures, which may be genuine, can unintentionally come across like the eerily accommodating/submissive people in those stories.
That...feels more like depression.
Adhd, at least in my experience, is telling yourself you'll get up and make lunch "in a minute" and then that minute turns into 4 hours. It's not even a conscious decision at a certain point, it's just that changing tracks from something you want to do to something you want to do less takes a lot of effort.
So, caveat here that I don't have ADHD myself, but I have two friends who do.
One of my friends had a mother that was very shaming and critical when my friend with ADHD got distracted or forgot things. Like, "You're so smart I don't see why you can't Do The Thing, it should be so simple!" and "Oh, she'll forget her house keys and come crying to me to bring them to her!" (As if my friend was entitled or something--but she's actually one of the most humble and sweet people I know, I have no idea why her mom has adopted this martyr persona where things she does on her own are somehow my friend's fault. Her mother seems to struggle with anxiety, and projects it on everyone around her--she tries to deal with it by controlling everyone through passive aggressive remarks. Obviously since ADHD has rejection sensitivity sometimes, it hits my friend hard.)
For another person in another family, it might have been different, but for my friend, because her mom was always on the, "You're so smart, why can't you Do The Thing, it's so simple!" train, the distractions and forgetfulness and stuff got rolled up with trauma because not only was her brain distracting her all the time, but when a task WAS remembered, there's a bunch of shame and trauma getting into the mix on top of the ADHD symptoms. Like, she already had tons of trouble trying to Do The Thing, but her mom made it so there was also shame and anxiety pulling her attention away on top of the baseline ADHD.
So maybe "technically" it's depression or anxiety or whatever--but it seems a fairly common experience for folks with neurodivergance who are surrounded by family who just "can't understand" why they don't "do the thing".
I don't have ADHD like I said, but I have C-PTSD and grew up with family that is schizophrenic (I mean this very literally--several family members formally diagnosed, etc.), so when my C-PTSD stuff goes off due to stress, my gut instinct isn't to Do The Thing to fix it, because in my experience my family was so chaotic that it honestly didn't matter if I did or didn't Do The Thing. My status of "in trouble" or "not in trouble" would be in flux according to THEIR mood, not what I actually had done, so it doesn't register on me when I'm upset that "doing the thing" might fix the bad feelings by appeasing the other person.
So I ran into a lot of issues were my stress response makes me flee stressful things (like school homework when I was young, or cleaning, or paperwork deadlines for dr or whatever), which has a negative feedback cycle of, "Why didn't you do this, it's so easy!" kicking up shame, which makes me flee, which makes more shame, on and on and on in a shit cycle.
My friend and I had very different home lives, but the thing we shared here was mental differences (her ADHD, my trauma from a shit home life) getting wound up with anxiety/depression that are intimately attached to the shaming others/society does if it perceives us to be "lazy" when we're actually panicking/afraid/guilty/hurting inside.
As a counterpoint to the other person, I did actually read it, definitely seems like you understand us!
On the flipside, I hyperfixated on it until I was done with the comment, but still wanted more. Love the insight! It's easy to forget that everyone has different creatures in their minds, and some creatures aren't as negotiable as others. As well as how much trauma and the environment we grow up in shapes our abilities.
Hey, that was probably insightful, but as someone with ADHD, just looked like a lot of words to read. I wanted to thank you for your input bc I have empathy for your efforts, but gonna be honest, I didn't read it all.
Tô me it would be like starting lunch and then starting to clean the dishes and then 3 hours have passed and neither lunch is ready nor the dishes are done and you have to leave 30 minutes ago
ADHD and depression are super, super comorbid though.
This post definitely matches my adhd, and I don't have depression. Remember that not everyone's adhd is the same. This is a common issue many people with adhd face, even if it isn't your experience.
People present differently. No diagnostic tool for ADHD or depression asks whether you get stuck on the couch for four hours trying to motivate yourself. It's always interpretive.
My issue is at work, "I'll just do this one more thing", and then instead of my usual 2pm lunch, it's now suddenly 3pm which even for me is crazy late..
The power of medication!!! Thank fucking God for amphetamines. It's like night and day and you're not perpetually tired no matter how great your sleep is.
Every day is like that one day two months ago when you woke up feeling normal and good despite a random amount of sleep you had prior lol.
God, maybe I do have ADHD. I’m always super stressed and always tired. I feel like a depressed Slowpoke anymore.
Every single post I see is slowly convincing me I might have ADHD, then again it could just be me or my autism.
I mean, ADHD is very commonly a co-morbid condition with other neurological conditions. It's more uncommon to NOT also have ADHD when you have another.
Executive functioning problems happen in both autism and ADHD, so it could be autism related or ADHD related.
At one point I asked my therapist, how can you tell if something is related to ADHD or autism if you're diagnosed with both or suspect both? And she was basically like 'there's not really a way to tell and it comes down to subjective judgements.'
🤷♂️ I'm more of a practical person. If ADHD coping techniques or medication help you, does it matter which it technically is?
frankly i think posts like these are more useful than super dry scary clinical descriptions
Wait, that's ADHD? 😶
I do that kinda stuff all the time. I always assumed it was somehow caused by anxiety.
It's actually probably the single most common ADHD trait. It's the "attention deficit" in ADHD; can't force the brain to change focus from doom scrolling into whatever you actually want/need to do. The anxiety is just the side effect when the "other thing" happens to be important/urgent.
I really dislike the name "attention deficit". We can totally pay attention to things, what we have problems with is controlling where the attention stays or is directed to. There's also a problem where our brain doesn't properly generate motivation from us just wanting to do something because that function became disabled with ADHD.
I have ADHD, and this just sounds like depression to me?
Look up "ADHD and executive dysfunction".
You are not wrong but for many the effects of ADHD can cause depression and the effects compound each other.
In my experience the right meds can push past that initial lack of flow state and allow accomplishment of tasks. Without it depression comes because you can't understand why you aren't just getting things done. Snowball effect..
literally me right now. I need to get up and do something important, yet anxiety and lack of willpower has me laying down on the couch, scrolling on my phone.
How do you know what I've been doing for the past 4 hours
The lighter side of ADHD
