Gifts don't have to be something you like, want, or need. It's about the thought, care, and love that goes into them. Whether you like new things or old things, it doesn't matter. Gifts have subtext. Your SO probably will equate your love for the gift with your love for them. Use them both. Love them both. Love the people who gave you both.

Down vote me if ya want but I very much feel OP. I always will take an older model or refurnished over some new, overly priced gizmo. I understand that the new thing is maybe an improvement but the capitalist churn of new devices every other week makes me sick. "What's wrong with older devices?", is my shtick. A computer from 2011 will run fine without a copious amount of bloat publishers push. I had a very thoughtful mother in law who fixed my screen on my computer instead of buying me a new laptop. My ex husband on the other hand always wanted the trendiest item Instagram was selling and would request his mom get it for him, we were poor (who would've guess two kids in their 20s were working on our finances). I'm still actively playing my original Xbox One from 16ish years ago, and my console still loads faster than my friends' newer consoles.

You need to have a conversation regarding the feelings surrounding this with your spouse and what each others' love language is.

It sounds like part of your spouse's love language is gift giving, which may be why your rejection of their gifts hurts so much. You may view it as rejecting an object, they may view it as you rejecting their love.

I expect this to be a hard conversation, in part because it is a discussion on how you love each other.

I'm very suprised by a lot of these comments. it's very common advice that a gift giver should gift something that the reciever wants, not the giver. Not gifting someone they already know isn't common advice but it's already common sense. Common sense isn't always as common as the name suggests, though, and we all have blind spots. The other commenters may be right in that your wife's reaction might be a sign that your tone was harsher than you intended or thought, but that doesn't change the fact that you were hurt as well. if this was an aquiantance i might agree that you should have just accepted the gift graciously even if you were just gonna return it, but your partner should someone you can be honest with and someone who will appreciate that honesty

like most relationship problems, i think the best way to move forward is to talk it out. i'd apologize for the way you reacted whether or not you actually blew your lid as an olive branch. explain again calmly where you're coming from with this and emphasize gratitude that your wife was observant enough to get you a gift they thought you would use while also explaining- again, calmy- why your wife came to the wrong conclusion. try and zero in on the heart of the problem- was it specifically that you wanted to return it that was the issue? then you might be able to compromise that you keep it until your current one is broken beyond repair, for example. never ever ever say "i'm sorry you feel that way," that never goes well, but do show genuine concern and remorse for the way that they feel. after your wife blows off some steam, if you both approach this calmly and in good faith i'm sure you'll be able to find a compromise. that might look like your t-shirt rule, "no gifting things i already own," or deciding to always gift "experiences" instead like another commenter said, or maybe just no gifts moving forward if it really is always going to be a point of contention

good luck to you and i hope everything works out well for the both of you

OP exhibiting some autistic traits here.

This story is specifically non-gendered but people keep assuming that OP is male and partner is female.

You are heading for divorce.