I dated a vegan for several years. Am a meat eater. There were no issues. The stuff she cooked was delicious, and the stuff I cooked she ate around if she had to. We respected our differences and it made us stronger
I'm inclined to be skeptical of there being no issues on her end. vegans have to tolerate a lot that we would prefer not to, but that doesn't mean we like it.
You would put animals on her plate and have her eat around it ?
By "eat around it" I mostly meant she let me cook what I wanted when it was my turn, and if I had time I'd make a second serving with meat substituted for something else (mushroom, artichoke, etc.). If I didn't have time, I'd keep the base and the layering separate and offer her the base to flavour however she wanted.
When we visited my parents, she'd just pick out the meat chunks and actually eat around it no problem
NGL, if I was vegan and went to visit my inlaws and they made me pick out the meat chunks, that's pretty shit hospitality.
Her parents cook twice when we visited them, but the extra work was shared between both her parents so it was fine.
My mother's the only one that cooks. Her cuisine is very traditional. My ex understood this
You needn't justify, people will get triggered at nothing. Your partner seems great, app the best.
catching strays out here, my dude. sounds like a really positive take on something people find divisive.
cooking for others is so special - I'm glad your family shares that. my parents don't cook, and certainly never took an interest in meeting most of the people I dated. but now my partner and I cook for them. they don't like everything we make, and pick around the stuff they don't want. everyone's happy, so it all works out.
it's also important to be a good guest. a host isn't a servant. they didn't make anyone do anything; they offered food and shared their home, and that's pretty cool.
also, doesn't sound like in-laws. "dated" implies casuality, and also past tense.
No, fuck that. A host isn't a servant, fine. But if they knew the person and still made only food, they had to pick shit out, they are just bad hosts.
You're very much presenting a doomed of you do, doomed of you don't scenario. As a picky eater (non vegan) I've found that if you're unwilling to eat something a host made they get upset. They may never directly say it, but there's always some negativity. Bringing your own food is considered disrespectful, for better or worse. The "rules" of politeness and manners in these types of situations sadly don't follow much logic.
So, if a host knows there is a vegan and prepares a dish with meat in it, what can the vegan do? Separating it out doesn't seem good, there's still probably meat juices and things they don't want mixed in. Bringing their own food will seem rude and disrespectful to many hosts. Refusing to eat will likely be viewed as them being overdramatic by the hosts.
So while it's true that the host has no true obligation to prepare something separate, they're still knowingly putting the vegan guest into a catch 22 scenario. The host isn't under obligation to provide food at all but they are and they're knowingly choosing something that a guest can't pick due to dietary restrictions.
I'm basing this on the types of gatherings and families I grew up around in the American southeast. It's not universal, of course. Even here it isn't. But I also believe the types of hosts who would be tolerant of you not eating or bringing your own food are also the ones who would be polite enough to separate the meat before and cook them separately or they'd make something the vegan guest can eat just in general.
I gotta say, she may have just been nice about it.
Had that relationship gone on a long time, this probably would have been an issue. She cooked delicious things for you, where you could relax and enjoy, but then she has to do additional work to be able to eat when you cook. Seems like you got the better end of that deal, and weren't accounting for her needs.
While we both eat meat, my partner doesn't prefer it, so we've switched to mostly vegetation, including my cooking. Sometimes i make meat dishes, but it's mostly reserved for when we go out. I've learned to adapt because the last thing she needs is more work to do when it's not her turn. This is how almost every veg-meat relationship that has lasted that I know of went.
Not saying this to be pointed, perhaps your situation really was unique, but I'd take some time for self reflection on what her perspective might have actually been.
Why are there so many people in this thread telling this guy what his vegan gf actually thought
Stop projecting. You don't always need to be right. It's ok for other people to have different experiences from you.
Yikes poor girl.
That way they get her leftovers. Modern solutions!
I’m vegetarian. My partner is not. We mostly buy and eat vegetarian, but occasionally they’d like some real chicken or beef. I’ll even cook it for them, no problem. I just don’t eat it. It’s really easy to be in this type of relationship actually.
Of course, as vegetarians are carnists. Two carnists in a relationship is standard.
‘I still think animals are products so don’t mind when others also do’
I swear to god lemmy has the highest ratio of angsty purity testers I've ever seen.
I've never been any place online where people hate other people that match with them like 99% of the way so god damn much.
Believing that animals should have basic rights, at least some degree of sovereignty; and the dignity to not be systematically confined, in constant abuse and outright torture, forcibly bred, exploited and enslaved in every possible way, to have their byproducts extracted to the detriment of their own health, and finally to be slaughtered on a scale that puts every other human atrocity to shame - is not a fucking purity test, it's a god damn moral baseline.
Except the other person is most of the way with that viewpoint, hence me calling it a purity test.
But they're really not. The harms and atrocities that come from dairy and eggs are arguably worse than meat itself, and the former industries drive the latter to some extent because it's not profitable to care for animals for the duration of their natural lifespan.
Vegetarianism is neither ideologically or functionally different than any other form of animal commodification.
The harms and atrocities that come from dairy and eggs are arguably worse than meat itself
Certifiably cap, just from the scale of it all. Meat production has a non insignificant amount of environmental impact.
Dairy does too, but meat, you need more animals to kill.
and the former industries drive the latter to some extent
This is exactly backwards
Vegetarianism is neither ideologically or functionally different than any other form of animal commodification.
This is so absurd on its face that I don't think you're reasonable enough to bother arguing with, and don't think anyone reading this will think you are, so I'd just be wasting my time.
Dairy cows and hens are still destined for the meat grinder, regardless of the vegetarian's choices.
So you're absolutely right. Sad to see the downvotes
"she ate around it" . Sounds frustrating. You must be packing...
And before people downvote, I didn't mean violence. Wrong packing. Turn off your tv. Take a deep breath and dip your head in the gutters a little bit
I didn't assume violence, but I was thinking "there could be numerous other reasons besides a good dicking to stay with someone even if you don't share ideologies".
If he butchers the rich, it's a match made in heaven.
And now together: Change your diet for the climate, eat the rich 👏👏
I wonder if you can eat enough Elon to get a second-hand ketamine high.
True mhhm Mark Zuckerberg mhhm tasty 🤤🤤
I’m not vegan by any stretch, but I also like any restaurant with a strong vegan option. A mostly plant-based diet is better on my tummy. I’ll eat a steak, but then I’ll eat vegetarian for the next two weeks while I digest it.
Lots of reasons to end up at the same statement :)
I guess you could say he... butchered that date
I wonder whether they decided to meat again after
It sounds like the steaks were too high.
Opposites attract and all.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean.
I've seen couples make it work. The guy gets to learn all about these really delicious vegan curries. The woman finds out how much meat gets thrown in the trash and maybe doesn't feel so bad when her husband rescues a prime rib or a sea bass filet or a dozen scallops the size of your fist from getting chucked in the dumpster at the end of the shift.
A lot of vegans see animals as deserving of the same dignity as pets or humans. With this mindset the "thrown away" meat is about as much of a waste as burying your grandma instead of eating her.
i worked in the meat department when i met my gf. shes vegetarian. i think she was more okay with it because her dog liked smelling my clothes after work😂
She did say a good vegan option so it doesn't seem to be a non-negotiable
I don't see the issues here. Not every vegan is one for ethical reasons, and many of those who are vegan for ethical reasons only do it for themselves. The only vegans that I've seen that can't comprehend the idea of respecting others exist exclusively online.
Sounds like they’re set up for a long and happy marriage!
I’ve heard of atheists being married to deeply religious partners. Card carrying democrats being married to magats.
If you can accept each other despite a deep difference on something like that, you should have no problem getting everyday disagreements!
As an atheist vegan, those two things aren't even remotely equivalent. "I go to church on Sunday" isn't the same as "My job is hacking apart animals".
People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.
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