# We check if the server is on by asking the ALU to perform an operation,
$result = 1 + 1;

if ($result == 2) {
	print "Server is ON.\n";
} else {
	print "Server is OFF.\n";
	print "Power on the system before attempting to run any programs!\n";
}

Brilliant

cdrewind Rewind CDROMs before ejection.

lol wut

Commands are often run over high speed ssh or telnet sessions, causing Command Fault Heat State Exception (CFHSE) errors due to overbauding.

☝️

A Java/Swing GUI front-end for the "ed" line editor. This enhances the classic "ed" editor by wrapping it in an easy to use GUI. The GUI provides tunable options such as sound effects, themes, and has an awe-inspiring monochrome splash screen.

🤣

No shit, I'm going to need the l33t script though.