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Ugh. Fucking Oakleys. The worst.
As a parent in a red state, I've noticed way more last names as first names than what I grew up with. This seems to match that trend.
Stetson - cowboy hats.
Briggs (& Stratton) - outboard motors.
Oakley (in three different spellings) - redneck eyewear of choice.
Conservatives are one generation away from naming their kids shit like Winchester, Remington, Walmart, and Budlight.
Some weird names there. Gunner and Baylor?
So the bluer names are ethnic and the redder names are terrible. Interesting trend.
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Fascinating that in the female category, blue has no names ending with the "ee" sound, and in the red category, there's no names ending in the "ah" sound.
Moshe? Kohen? Baylor???
Multiple versions of "Oak"???
I don't understand these names
Moshe is a Jewish name, Kohen is a fake Jewish name for Christian zionists, Baylor is a Christian college with a football team popular with gambling addicts.
In the Bible the oak of righteousness will not bend, and no matter how many Olive Gardens she's banned from Oaklynn will never bend from knowing that she wants to see the manager and you're a slur.
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Moshe is a traditional Hebrew name. It's probably pretty much 100% NY and maybe a little NJ. That's likely why it's only 3% red when the rest of the most skewed names still have more than 20% in the minority.
"Dad, what was I named after?"
"I really liked those sunglasses that cops wear, and your mom likes spelling stuff weird to feel fancy, so naturally we called you Oakleigh!"
I have a red state relative who is a big sports fan and names their children after sports equipment manufacturers.
I'd like you to meet my family: here's my son Champion, my youngest, Addidas, and Riddell is the oldest. 😄
Maybe they can get future sponsorships!
I've never really thought about it, but I think it would make it harder for them to get sponsorships.
If your name is Nike, then would Puma really be willing to sponsor you? And if your name is Nike, then you're already advertising for Nike. Even if Nike did sponsor you, there would be no competition so you wouldn't be able to negotiate a bigger paycheck.
I suppose a good marketer could spin it. "My name may be Nike, but you'll only ever see these feet in Asics!"
Someone may want to "steal them away" from their namesake brand too for the same reason. "They're names after Nikes, but still won't even wear them for money!"
Advertising is weird. I'm sure if one was a star and companies saw a way to exploit that, both parties would be able to work something out.
Kind of like Harrison Ford advertising for Jeep
Exactly! I forgot about that ad, but they nailed it.
What i learn from this is that there are a lot of Muslims in blue states and that everyone is naming their daughters some variation of Oakley in red states.
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... Miriam is making a come back?
Eustace! Leave that poor dog alone!
And then also... jesus fuck, the right wing 2A crowd is now I guess just naming their kids 4 or 5 different variations of their favorite overpriced 'cool but also tactical' glasses?
I guess it makes sense for a Republican approach to daughters; literally just accessories they own so they can self-actualize via consumerism and performative conformity.
... Also I can only hope male Nico just barely making the list is from people who played GTA 4 and actually realized his entire story is a thorough evisceration of the concept of the American Dream.
These aren't necessarily popular names. They're the most skewed ones (presumably above a threshold, otherwise there would be a lot of names where there was only one baby).
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It's probably because it's a traditional Jewish name. It's just Hebrew for Mary.
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Rise of the -leighs, -lees, and -dens.
If Saylor and Baylor get together, do you think their relation-ship is gonna sink? Or will it be smooth sailing?
Stetson? Like... the hat?
Bruh.
I suppose its better then naming their kid Fedora.
My oldest son, Stetson, was picking on his youngest brother, Resistol, until the two middle children, Akubra and Master Hatters of Texas stepped in.
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Briggs and Stratton next to each other on the red state list is too funny.
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Lol @ Stetson
Red state baby girls be named after Guy Fieri’s wraparound sunglasses.
Four different versions of shitty overpriced sunglasses favored by insecure man children? That tracks.
Ok, but why not name them after soft drinks, cigarettes or some illnesses linked to diabetes?
I find it interesting how Muslim and Jewish the blue names are while the red ones are certainly rural coded. Kayla being blue was a bit surprising as it's just normal though I do think college educated liberal when I picture a Kayla. Paige is definitely an odd one there.
Why are all those red names so utterly horrible?
Are you seriously calling your boy Gunner? Why not... idk... Carpet? Or Computer? Or Bottle?
Baylor sounds like a low level boss that you have to fight to finish the tutorial.
Gunner is 100% a common dog's name, often given to gun dogs. I feel sorry for those kids.
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I’d assume that someone named Hattie has stories about living through the Great Depression.
not yet. but don't you worry, they will.
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I wish they had name counts. I'm curious if there are like seven of each or seven thousand.
All the red names sound like last names to me
I noticed that trend in my red state a while ago. So many Reagans and Jacksons. One time my kid had a Stallone in her class.
As a non-american, WTF with those red names?!? Those are not first names or even word that exist in others countries/languages? Are they AI generated or what? Poor kids...
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That's why I used Muhammad on my fake ID.
Was it between that and McLovin?
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this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2025
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