I won a potato and spoon race in year 2. The instructions they gave said if we dropped the potato we should run to where it was and put it back on the spoon so I flicked the potato to the finish line and ran and collected it and won by an absolute mile.

I won some medals for ballroom dance when I was maybe 8 or 9. Not a sporting achievement I guess but it required a certain level of athleticism and co-ordination that I'm severly lacking in my 30s.

I won semi-pro doubles at a table football tournament in Lithuania once. Pretty crazy how serious people take table football (foosball) as a sport, really. Was mad fun though.

Best was coming second in a non-competitive 26 mile walk. Worst was the swimming certificate for a width of the local municipal pool whilst clinging to a lump of polystyrene foam. With hindsight the award was probably for not drowning.

Playing 4th line defense on my high school hockey team, I managed to fall asleep on the bench and no one seemed to notice.

I won gold medals for javelin shotput and discus in the Ayrshire championships as a wean. Although my greatest achieement was winning actual cash money at the Arran Highland Games 4k race for coming in 4th. There may only have been 4 people competing, but prize money is prize money, and I was just glad to finish considering I was more hungover than I'd ever been.

During a cricket match trying to hit a six and the ball fell short of the long off boundary by a few metres and my coach shouted "try again!". I then proceeded to hit the next shot in the same place for six. My cricket career peaked at 16 years old.

I was in Year 10 PE, playing rounders, my absolute worst. Hate that game. The teacher was the pitcher. I was at-bat. The teacher said to the catcher, "As soon as she misses, throw the ball straight to me." She pitched, I whacked that ball and made it to first or second post. That's my greatest sporting achievement and I still feel good about it now.

Once scored an overhead kick during our in-school football tournament. Even got a pat on the back from one of the bigger kids.

I peaked at 9 years old.

I came second in long jump on sports day in year 8. I still think about it sometimes.

Of course, only 2 people competed...

I won the players player of the year trophy for my under 15s football team in the mid 90's. We were rubbish and only won 2 games that season but it was nice having all my mates vote for me.

My greatest sporting achievement is being so steadfast in my refusal to play rounders, they eventually excused me from junior school P.E. altogether and I got to go hang out in the library instead.

Before that I'd just sort of stand there, let the ball go whirling past me and stare deadpan at anyone who tried to make me feel bad about it.

In hindsight I was a slightly terrifying child.

Got banned from the egg and spoon race for wanging the (wooden) egg out of frustration, accidentally into an unfortunate classmate's temple.

I got man of the match playing football once and I won a Goofy mug and a Happy Meal.

Not necessarily my greatest but I have a certificate from school for swimming a width. 😂