It doesn't matter what other people think of your partner. Only what you think. Fuck the haters.

Apparently you meet very shallow people.

I can't imagine caring that a happy family member or friend's partner is less conventionally attractive, much less saying that to them!

You need to meet and surround yourself with less horrible people.

There are people who dress for comfort or the weather, and others dress to impress.

You can drive a car that'll get you there, or you can drive one that makes people jealous.

The people who are concerned with how attractive their partner is to others, are the same people that are worried about how others view their material possessions.

I, too, am in a mixed attractiveness relationship. Though I'm on the opposite side as you. All I can say is if my wife was receiving those comments, she did not show it. After all these years I think her family and friends accept me.

But in all seriousness, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you are happy, then that's all that matters.

These comments are crazy lol.

The idea of "shallowness" is stupid. It's a normal part of human attraction to prefer people that are visually attractive, so it's unusual when people ignore that and take conventionally unattractive partners.

It's similar to having a partner who's kind of an asshole. Why would you do that? Cuz they're hot? It's just as odd and one-sided in the reverse.

Now, if you just find conventionally unattractive people to be attractive, then that's another story -- that would show that you're not making excuses for ignoring basic elements of human attraction.

Also, if you truly don't value physical attractiveness to the degree that other people do, and are not just saying that to cope with having a less beautiful partner, then that's totally fair. People are just commenting on it because for most people, physical beauty is a core part of attraction, and ignoring that fact is a big sign of denial and deeper unhappiness. But if that doesn't apply to you, then rock on.

I'm pretty sure that it boils down to successful procreation genetics. As in, the more attractive you are the bigger the selection of mates you have access to. It's been happening for as long as life has existed here.

No doubt this has across history been heavily distorted by culture, art and religion and in more recent times by fashion, marketing, advertising and media.

Lots of people care only about status. If someone is better looking then that means to them that other people will see that they have won.

They would rather have someone they can show off at a party than a person who is actually compatible with them.

You're getting a lot of answers from chronic singles on this thread.

The answer is: It depends on where you are in life and what you needs as a person.

Generally you value different things in a partner as you grow older. A loving, caring, responsible person may be less appealing if you don't live with them and share no responsibilities and instead are looking for fun and trouble, so you can prioritize other things you like.

As you grow older, you expect different things and reorganize your priorities. You might be more concerned about someone's personality if you want then to raise your child, than if you want them to get you Molly and fuck.

People notice things that they are self-conscious about. Not even that they're necessarily insecure about it, but when you think about something a lot, you tend to notice it in other people as well.

So I'd say it's because your friends and family think a lot about their own appearances. Likely because they're insecure about their own appearances.

Tell them that they're ugly and that their partner is ugly. Don't expand on it, don't debate, just leave them at that. I've found that doing that really fucks with people. That, smiling, and staring at their foreheads, though not altogether because then you look like a jackass. It needs to be subtle and honest.

I seriously don't know anyone who thinks that way, I'm sorry you have to deal with those sort of people.

The majority of people I have met only care that you are happy and the rest I ignore.

It's been said before, but I'll repeat it: some people are shallow.

Generally a good thing to be attracted to the person you’re fucking

Because some people are just shallow.

It's called "vanity".

It’s a universal people red flag and automatic -500 karma. Only pitiful fools date for looks.

I need to feel some level of attraction for it to work, but i try not to care about what others think. I also find that people i like/love grow more attractive over time.

My criteria for dating: someone I can snuggle at night after a long day. Ideally with cold feet and warm torso so I can choose my temperature.

I mean, did they talk about how he wasnt conventionally attractive or did they care about it?

Are they saying, "old ugly bob is coming by for dinner tonight, make sure to put out an extra setting", or are they saying "don't date bob because he's old and ugly"?