Patch Notes v2.0:

• Fixed a bug where you would freak out for no reason. Anxiety levels now reduced by 50% - enjoy a smoother, calmer and more stable experience!

• Upgraded memory capacity by 50%. Say goodbye to forgetting where you put your keys or that one relative who changed your diaper once. You're welcome!

• Removed those pesky 'Remember that time you embarrassed yourself in front of everyone?' pop ups. Time to move on, folks! No more cringe-filled flashbacks from now on.

Stay tuned for more updates on the Human OS and also a huge thanks to our contributors.

Bug fix: your tongue and cheeks no longer get bit by your own teeth while eating

get your vaccines 🤣

You could always use monkey-patching

Drugs, I'm talking about drugs. 🫠

That's called drugs.

-Empathy attribute improved by 50% -bug fix: some players' Empathy attribute was below baseline; these players have had their Empathy attribute reset to baseline.

What do you think vaccines and gene therapy are? :P

• bug fix: you can now go to a room without forgetting the reason you went there
• bug fix: you can now produce your own vitamin C again

No you don't. You want to learn how to properly run your hardware.

• anxiety serves a purpose, forces your fight or flight response, develops survival instinct

• memory is not meant to be heidetic as not everything is vital information; you want to remember what you had for lunch when you were 3 years old, on a tuesday, mid january?

• failures are more important than successes; failure teaches you what does not work.

Run your hardware better. Have some therapy, try to sleep more/better and go for a daily walk.

Oh yeah! finally fixed that anxie- Segmentation fault (core dumped)

• adjusted responsibility level by 1000%

Cursed Monkey Paw:

Wish Granted. You get regular firmware updates, just like HP printers do.

No thanks, seen too many bad updates to want to let myself get bricked by a bad update.

patch out the bug that causes eyelashes to have a chance to fall into the eye

The entire field of medicine : Am I a joke to you?

Humans have them. But they are like Linux drivers and upgrades. You have to look for them as invest a lot of. Tike to actually improve.

I'd give my left nut for the allergy update.

Just open source the code. Let me hack on it.

-new bug: Due to forgetting of past failure, there is now reoccurring failures.

Isn't this technically a vaccine? I suppose that's more like Avast for your body

Reading books, studying, learning new things, is our way to update our firmware to make new things, or give us new tools to fight anxiety or depression.

Also, to improve your math skills, you have to do maths often, and the brain will get better at it.

The brain is like a muscle that you can train to become stronger at things that hurt you or better at things that you need.

c/outside

3rd set of teeth added

This is the meditation update that you're looking for

Sure, but you always download the latest bugs.

-known issue: audio skips every 10s

Fixed a bug where the human would sometimes procrastinate too much, saying "It's a problem of my future self".

Can I get a perceived attractiveness buff plz

Also, combined sex and waste organs; awful idea.

Human babies need a buff, they're functionally useless for far too long. Other mammals can stand immediately.

Way too many incompatible preference traits. Cheese being delicious but also requiring to enslave another being for manufacturing, with a 50/50 chance it makes your asshole explode. Way too chaotic.

The technology is already here:

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/12/31/1067400512/first-sickle-cell-patient-treated-with-crispr-gene-editing-still-thriving

You can. I go on a 2 week Mahasi vipassana silent meditation retreat each year and each time the release notes make it worth the time and effort. Also like running defrag on a disk that has been defragged regurlarly, it runs smoother each time, making the whole experience much more pleasurable.

Release notes last retreat:

• Fixed approval seeking issue due to lack of approval by clueless dad during teenage years
• Reduced day dreaming by 10% by recognizing mechanisms that lead to day dreaming
• Optimized routines for dealing with tough situations
• Increased mindfulness by eliminating several mechanisms that lead to mindlesness
• Discovered access to high concentration states that likely will lead to more discoveries
• Fixed loneliness issue due to missed update
• Fixed part of a (self and others) judgement issue. More work on this issue needed.

The above is a pretty accurate representation of the results I got.

funny idea but this is where transhumanism starts

I'd be Windows. Constantly rebooting every five minutes

No, you actually say you want to solve your problems without any work from your part, sorry no can do.

Even for a firmware update somebody has to code and work in the background, only the update process itself it's simpler (if you don't consider the work involved in creating the update mechanism and infrastructure itself).

we only get firmware corruption as we age