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submitted 1 week ago by Mothra@mander.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

Saw a comic recently about this topic and got me thinking. I know what "the talk" is about since it appears in so many media but I don't ever recall having such an experience personally. Did you? What was it like?

I was a late 80s kid, just for context. As far as my experience goes, my parents were very open about sex as a natural process for reproduction. They answered openly any questions I had whenever I had them, keeping to the bare minimum necessary but never avoiding the topic- also never using metaphors as a substitute for plain facts ie. "the birds and the bees".

So at about age 5 or so I was already aware about how reproduction worked on animals, us humans included. As I kept growing up of course I kept connecting the dots on any social aspects of sex and relationships (ie that is supposed to be pleasant, that people do it even if they're not planning to have babies, etc) but I never had a moment of shocking realization regarding sex. I often found it stupid how some of my classmates would giggle or lower their voice when talking about anything sexual like, well, like it's a taboo. And I was often disappointed at how much of what my classmates knew wasn't exactly true, which at the time I chalked to their stupidity, although obviously it wasn't their fault. They were misinformed.

By the time kids got to sex ed in highschool they already had their facts pretty much right though, fortunately.

So I'm curious about your experiences about this while growing up. Was yours similar to mine or did you sit through some awkward conversations? How did you feel about it all?

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[-] knightly@pawb.social 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Kinda embarassing, for my parents.

I was a precocious kid, read my way through libraries before we got online. By the time my parents got around to giving me the talk I had already started puberty, gave the talk to one of my friends who hit puberty early, and gone through a gender crisis to figure out I was enby.

[-] cepelinas@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

I only know of one classmate who got the talk but personally I didn't get anything like the talk just my parents understanding that I knew.

[-] De_Narm@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Iirc, we had sex ed in 3rd or 4th grade at age 10 or 11. Maybe younger, depending on the age you entered 1st grade.

It was repeated at grade 5, I think.

I don't remember ever asking my parents anything and they never sat me down. I don't think anyone ever seriously told me any fairy tales or misinformation.

[-] Sergio@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago

My grandparents had a World Book Encyclopedia set. I started reading it around 8 or 9. That told me all I needed to know. (this was before the wwweb).

[-] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

No.

I was lucky to have an elementary and middle school that still did sex ed talks. My dad wasn't in a talking mood after roofing all day every day and my mom was a puritanical prude who would much rather I figure it out than actually tell me how to exercise caution in order to avoid pregnancy.

[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 1 points 1 week ago

Did you resent the avoidance at any point? Also, did you have questions before getting sex ed talks that went unanswered? I guess that's what I'm curious to find out, from those who didn't have any talk or had it too late, what did they do before hitting the first school lesson on the subject.

[-] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Oh, absolutely.

They pounded sexual discomfort into me with religion, and I could have had a lot more sex and enjoyed my life more when I was younger if they hadn't done that. I also would have appreciated knowing more about how sex needs to be for a woman to experience pleasure and more information about body language and consent.

[-] sem 2 points 1 week ago

Nothing really that I can remember from my parents. I don't think they were that comfortable with it. But my school had pretty comprehensive health education, including sex Ed. Once in 5th grade, once in middle school (I think I took it in the summer so I could take more electives during the year) and once again in high school, iirc. My college also had pretty fantastic PSAs everywhere.

I remember starting very very early elementary school, like 3rd, 4th grade, kids would ask each other if they knew what sex was, or what 69 meant, or how babies were made, when teachers couldn't hear, but I have the impression that while some kids knew more than others, no one really knew what they were talking about.

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this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2025
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