Recovering from burnout. Personal life happened, an anxiety spell took over me, and school continued on. But things are slowly being put back together. I think I'll be okay. Even if at times I feel like I'm alone, I'm reminded by my friends that I'm not. Guess it's a habit to think that way. Breaking out of it.

Also I met a unicorn. Dating said unicorn. Feel very happy. c:

Feeling rather burnt out lately. A lot of stress-inducing things beyond my control have happened this winter, and I've found myself forced to violate the self-imposed 'no more than three prescription sleeping pills a week' rule on several occasions, which is probably not a good sign.

At least things are looking up now! Most problems have been solved or at least defused, and starting today I get a whole week away from work and family.
The weather helps too! It's getting warmer and I love that the sound of birds singing in the morning has returned.

The downside is that the dogs feel spring too, which means they do a lot of stupid stuff and consider my increasingly angry yelling to be non-binding recommendations at best, which means lots of walks on a short leash, which in turn means even more pent-up energy for the next walk. Just when we started being grateful for having made it through our youngest daughter's puberty...

Anyways. Things are mostly looking up, so yay! I'm going to use this week to refuel and work on some absolutely useless but entertaining projects such as an analysis of our collected hotel key cards with respect to their contents and cloneability. So far I've found exactly one keycard that used some kind of encryption. Most keycards are just Mifare Classic cards that rely on the UID alone, and one just had an unprotected data block with the plaintext room number. That's basically one small step above the door locks accepting a handwritten note saying "master key". This is going to be interesting.

What books are you juggling? And which notes app do you use? What’s your typical note taking process like?

Flew to Europe for a vacation we planned last year. Turns out people hate Americans now (more than before anyway), and I can't even blame them.

Woke up early for what I thought would be a legal contest over a lying highway patrol about a traffic violation. I've got receipts and a list of questions for his bitchass. Turns out it was only an arraignment. Hardest eyeroll ever.

Meh? I'm a uni professor and I gave a subpar lecture. I really care so when I feel things don't go well, it hits me hard. I'm very tired and stressed and can see the same in my students.

I also want to fight back against the nonsense in my country; not sign holding, not performative nonsense, but can't find an outlet or ally. Its frustrating feeling powerless, seeing my students scared and suffering, and feeling useless.

So far so good

I did a photoshoot for a local screamo band at the beginning of February, and sent the pictures off last Friday. The band got back to me with their first batch of proofs for parts of the album art on Tuesday and they're super happy about the shots I gave them. They're not going to use all of the shots I did but they do want prints of a few of them that they're not putting in the album art book which is cool IMO.

Also as part of the agreement to do the shoot I'm free to share the shots as long as I link back to the band.

So I'll be sharing a bunch of them leading up to the album's release starting soon.

Going ok here, joined a Lancer TTRPG group on Tilde Town and also am trying to start a writing group somewhere online, probably at the same place, to encourage myself and others to write! I also joined a book club, again, at the same place! Finally, other than that, playing Monster Hunter Wilds a lot.

For the past two years I've been communicating with the planning board of the next town over, regarding supplying plants for them to redo the municipal plantings with genetically diverse natives. With the forest service suspending the tree planting programs using IRA funds, I am unsure whether their project is going to move forward. Here's hoping it does - we're one of a number of small nurseries who would've been tapped (hah! tree pun) for the project.

In other news, our six month old is figuring out standing on her own by holding on to objects. I'd say more but I have to go clear everything off of everything 🙄

i've been too plugged-in to trump news. i've banned myself from my primary source of that unhappy chaos, and will get it from a news outlet instead which is much slower and less ragey

i've gotten into audiobooks again, and that has done a lot to lift my spirits. i've plowed through the lord of the rings and am now listening to the silmarillion. i've found the silmarillion difficult to read, but much more accessible as an audiobook - and it's giving me a deeper appreciation of the lord of the rings

eucatastrophe, where art thou?

Going well. I have committed to a exercise regimen and its helped my stress levels.

I feel like I should be good. I dragged myself to D&D on Thursday and then speed dating on Saturday, met a lot of people and had fun.

But as soon as both ended, I just felt hollow. I haven't texted anyone back because I don't think I can do friendships/relationships.

The day of the speed dates I got into an argument with my best friend. I guess I misunderstood something he said so my response made no sense. I thought I was spilling my heart and he just said, "what the fuck are you talking about? How the fuck was that your takeaway?"

And the fight was my fault, I fucked up. I don't think he was unfair. But I feel incoherent and annoying when we talk, and I don't think I want to make any more friends.

I'm doing mostly alright. Seeing a lot of friends lately which is great.

I've started playing the new monster hunter which - contrary to what I expected based on the reviews - actually runs pretty decently.

Also I'm looking for some new books to read. Maybe it's finally time to venture out of my comfort zone and start reading some of my wife's books 🤔

Today would have been my 18th anniversary had my first wife not demanded a divorce in the middle of the rehab -- on my 30th birthday -- she'd already demanded as a condition for not getting a divorce. But at least the geopolitical situation is rosy.

What app are you using for note taking? Reading for fun or work?