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Are Dating Apps Getting Worse? (www.wired.com)
submitted 1 week ago by karpfenkalender@feddit.org to c/technology@lemmy.world
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[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 44 points 1 week ago

A little late to the conversation there wired.

Match group killed most dating apps years ago when they acquired as many as possible and turned them all into tinder clones, literally removing useful features, not even including them in "premium" versions.

Hinge was the last to hold on to being "acceptable" to those that used it (I need more profile than pictures so I didn't care for it) but I guess that's changed now too.

Monetizing human needs never ends well... Seeking a partner is a human need and these corpo fucks know it and drooled over the prospect of exploiting it. I gave up on them a few years ago so I'm just staying single I guess.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Ok, here's how it works. You and me, we're going to care for each other, and be there for each other, and support each others dreams, and hug each other, and have wild kinky sex!

What? You too are also male?

disappears into the bush homer simpson style

.......wait, that bush thing could be taken out of context.....

[-] azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Plot twist: he grabs you out of the bush and kiss

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Ack! He grabs me by the bush??? Bad touch! Bad touch!

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago

GETTING worse? No. They hit rock bottom like 5 years ago. You're just NOW figuring this out???

[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Maybe the author had been in a relationship for more than 5 years.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

Or gave up on dating apps a long time ago.

[-] NRjeez@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago

All non-free and open source apps made by for-profit entities always get worse.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

I think Steam is an outlier here. It'll probably get worse eventually, but it's pretty decent right now.

[-] Krik@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Those apps are like Google search. They are designed to keep you occupied, to make you pay for subscriptions and click on ads.

They are not designed to find you a good partner.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 19 points 1 week ago

The last time dating apps worked was before 2010. Why are we apparently only noticing this issue now?

[-] boxfulloffoxes@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago

Blame Match Group - they own almost all of them.

[-] meyotch@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 week ago

Can they get worse?

[-] Telorand@reddthat.com 14 points 1 week ago

Also, were they ever good?

[-] Badabinski@kbin.earth 10 points 1 week ago

OKCupid was alright before the buyout. I won't say it was great, but I went out with several people thanks to that site and met my current partner of 12 years there.

[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 week ago

okc was pretty great back in the day

[-] meyotch@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago

Probably not great ever, but Plenty of Fish yielded some decent prospects when it was nothing more than a web based classified ad. But those days are long gone.

[-] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

For a short time until they get enough market share and they switch on monetization.

[-] confuser@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 week ago

Does anyone have suggestions for anything decent dating wise since I'm sure lots of people seeing this post also want to find the best ways to date?

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 17 points 1 week ago

I think at this point actual human interaction is probably more positive than dating apps. Which is a pretty sorry state of affairs and I'm not keen on it. I don't want to meet people I want algorithms to do it for me, we're supposed to live in the future damn it.

[-] QualifiedKitten@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I never really had trouble getting dates on Tinder, etc., but very few of those led to second dates. Of the people I've dated that I met without the help of apps, I probably would've "swiped left" on most of them. As another user said, general human interaction is my current route, focusing my energy on social interactions where I can meet people the old fashioned way: mostly friends of friends. That can range from get togethers at someone's house, happy hours, general meetup groups, volunteering, hobbies and/or classes.

[-] SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

This, I think I had over 100 first dates and maybe 10 second dates. I’m not a catfish by any means, but I think people just come off differently over text than in-person, it can be kind of a whiplash.

[-] QualifiedKitten@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Yeah, I used to want to text a lot before meeting face to face, but have learned that almost always means I start to "fill in the blanks" and the person I meet never matches up with my expectations. By meeting face to face quickly, I don't have a chance to build those expectations and am unlikely to feel "catfished" by anything other than blantant lies on their profile.

I think the bigger problem is that the apps really amplify the sense of "there's always more fish in the sea." So if that first date wasn't full of sparks, people often prefer to see what other options are out there, rather than going on second dates to see if anything develops.

With the online approach, I know I'm very guilty of focusing on the other person's "flaws", and deciding they're deal breakers. With people I meet via offline methods, we generally get to know each other a bit more organically and end up having multiple unofficial "dates" before the first official date.

My last actual date was over a year ago, with someone I met offline through mutual friends. There was definitely an initial spark, but it fizzled almost as quickly (mostly my own discomfort with emotional intimacy). We're actually still friends though, and hang out with each other more often than I hang out with the friend who introduced us. If we had met via dating apps, I highly doubt we would still be friends because we just wouldn't have any reason to cross paths organically.

[-] Kit 2 points 1 week ago

Facebook Dating is the best I've found. Completely free and the algorithm is effective.

[-] johnlukepeckard@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

I found my girlfriend last October on hinge. What really made that app work for me are the ice breakers. Putting effort into a profile that highlights who you are will at some point attract the right people. And using ice breakers prompts to start a conversation was always kind of fun to check out the conversation vibe.

But it really took some effort getting started, working on my communication skills and exploring what I really like in a partner and what I like about me. It took me a year and tons of dates that weren’t a fit though.

[-] 0xD@infosec.pub 2 points 1 week ago

Going out, doing stuff you like and talking to people. I love raves, so that's where I generally meet people for dates. I've gotten dates at board game evenings, doing sports, or in a museum.

You just gotta talk to someone who has caught your eye. Make sure to let them know you find them attractive and if it's mutual you've got a thing. Rejections are normal and okay, at this point I'm more comfortable with them than actually going on a date :P

[-] mindaika@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

I suggest getting a dog and giving up on dating

[-] horse_battery_staple@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Yes, and more rapey.

https://themarkup.org/investigations/2025/02/13/dating-app-tinder-hinge-cover-up

[-] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

Beats me, I haven't used one in ages

[-] Toribor@corndog.social 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I met my wife via online dating just before Covid...

Feel like I caught the last chopper out of 'Nam.

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Tell me you haven't used a dating site in 15 years without telling me you haven't used a dating site in 15 years

[-] ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com 5 points 1 week ago

Just need to be sure to buy all the flairs and special options and it'll surely work this year...

[-] Xed@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

The best dating app is not being interested in having a relationship and playing video games until you randomly stumble across a switch gaming discord and randomly fall in love with your best friend and they like you back 🥴

this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2025
106 points (100.0% liked)

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