575
Dammit!
I said this as a joke nearly a month ago on Discord.
all i get from this is that Donald Trump is in your discord server and stole your idea
I know exactly who it is.
Actually, I'm just going to accuse the one person I know that will be the most upset about me calling him out as Trump.
Right, but this is the reality that runs on jokes, so you can't do that!
You know what would be just hilarious? A land of peace, wellness, and equality.
load more comments
(1 replies)
WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING EGG PRICES YOU GERIATRIC FUCK?!?!
I'm sorry, eggs come from female chickens, and any talk of that particular F-word is strictly forbidden.
I give it another 2 weeks before they start saying that omelets are just chicken abortions.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(20 replies)
This government is stupider and more childish than any TikTok challenge to date... combined
Red, White, and Blueland
Does this mean France, and Russia, and every other country with those colors in their flags also have claims to that land?
I'm sure he is just referencing Norway which originally claimed the land before "somehow" Denmark got it, right?
there's no way we're not living in a simulation. it fucking sucks. Please, somebody delete me right now I don't want to play anymore 😭
Oh my fucking God. Holy sweet fucking Lord in heaven. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm already done.
And here we are; all thinking that we are in the dumbest timeline. Turns out, we are all right about that.
Let's see how dumb this timeline will get.
Can I stick a fork in you?
load more comments
(1 replies)
Cool. Just renamed my apartment "The REAL United States of America". Every room is now a new state. The guest bathroom is obviously "New Ohio". There. See how much that lowered egg prices?
Your apartment has 50 rooms?! I'm guessing the bathrooms are our territories?
Red + Blue = Purple + White = .. Lilac?
Lilacland?
I bet they have a lot of Lilacs there, we should go
Tbh that's a really cute name.
The geopolitical fanfiction writes itself. Renaming Greenland like some corporate rebrand desperate to distract from melting assets – national security theater now starring spray-painted glaciers. The cognitive contortions needed to frame territorial karaoke as "strategic expansion" would earn Olympic gold in mental gymnastics.
They've upgraded from labeling dissenters "anti-American" to legislating cartographic fanfic. Six-month bureaucratic deadlines for rewriting maps? Peak legislative productivity achieved while infrastructure crumbles and healthcare implodes. At least the Sharpie industry thrives.
Denmark's diplomatic eye-roll echoes through the performative patriotism. Soft power evolves into PowerPoint jingoism – why address rising seas when you can rename them? The real climate action? Mandating all future hurricanes adopt surnames from Founding Fathers. Priorities, people.
Truly this will make eggs cheaper
Thankfully, the dipshit, Buddy, is not related to former President Jimmy Carter.
Careful, his idiot followers are going to believe this 4200%
Those colors don't even make green you morons
Sounds like a shitty theme park.
"is to be given" is the wrong case to use, the bill is in committee. "Would be given" would be better to say.
I'm fairly certain this is real news and not a parody.
Edit: Yes it is: https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398
load more comments
(1 replies)
Oh look it's the United States Congress version of shitposting.
this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
575 points (100.0% liked)
Not The Onion
13321 readers
1534 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS