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[-] candyman337@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

TELL YOUR MOM TO INVEST IN APPLE SHE'LL MAKE BANK

[-] DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com 8 points 1 year ago

You're gonna be the happiest you've ever been, but it's going take another 30 years and a failed marriage to get there. Hang tough - it's worth it!

[-] cubedsteaks@lemmy.today 8 points 1 year ago

You think being a Jehovah's Witness is bad? Pro tip, move in with dad but don't be his friend. Don't fall for any kind of "modeling" scam he pulls on you.

[-] Monster96@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT sell that mini NES. You. Will. Regret. It.

[-] Lewistrick@feddit.nl 8 points 1 year ago

Take time to be a player of your own life, not just a spectator.

[-] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

Your dad is a piece of shit. Find a mentor before your too old and you have to figure it all out by yourself.

[-] Fubar91@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Theres a few:

  • yeah, don't buy PC parts and wow gold with those bitcoins you will mine in 2011...

  • watch out for the fallen tree at the bottom of the hill on the bike path, your breaks don't work very well.

  • some older kid will decide to bully you, but dont let it bother you so much. Loser ends up unaliving himself via drunk driving into a wall later on.

  • oh also don't take your ps1 and gamecube collection to EB games for trade in, you only get 3 xbox 360 games out of the deal and will regret it.

[-] VonReposti@feddit.dk 7 points 1 year ago
[-] mustbe3to20signs@feddit.de 7 points 1 year ago

In a few years there will be something called Bitcoins, buy them, like a lot. Double what you think of and sell them 2021.

[-] masto@lemmy.masto.community 7 points 1 year ago

Nah, you're good.

[-] Marcbmann@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Get your thyroid checked out. Turns out major depressive disorder can be brought on by hypothyroidism. Who knew?

[-] daddyjones@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

When you finish college - keep making/playing/studying music. Play more rugby - when you're too old to play you'll wish you had. Don't sell your mandolin or your acoustic guitar. You'll regret them both in later years. Buy bitcoin.

[-] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

God isn't real

Buy Bitcoin ASAP and have a prepping plan

Your family doesn't care for you

[-] janus2@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 year ago
  1. you're right about all the contradictions in the Bible
  2. drop everything and immediately begin learning Java and Python. if you get good enough you can skip college entirely and save years of emotional hell
  3. convince mom to let you quit the instruments you hate playing and do computer extracurriculars instead
  4. buy bitcoin sell in Nov '21 lol (or just invent it)
  5. learn Mandarin Chinese, not Japanese. also maybe chill w/ the weeb shit
  6. move to NYC as soon as you can and DO NOT LEAVE even if there's a scary pandemic because you won't be able to afford to move back and you'll miss it real bad :(
  7. BUY AN EARTHBOUND CARTRIDGE BEFORE THEY BECOME UNOBTAINABLY EXPENSIVE 😭
[-] Moose@moose.best 7 points 1 year ago

Stay away from weed and you'll get to live your dream.

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

You will miss your family, lose your friends, and your home will be taken from you.

[-] antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 year ago

Eh forget about that man. Despite sharing his name, he’s not even your real biological father. Family is about more than genetics.

[-] zeusbottom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

Hold on for just a couple more years. I know it will seem like an eternity, and I know the damage that has been done. But you will be moving to a much better place.

[-] bfg9k@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Punch that fucker Liam right in his smug face, he's a little bitch and is all talk, and you miss the chance once he goes to jail.

Keep going with your Euphonium practice, or you'll forget it all and you're really good at it.

Don't be scared to ask for stuff you need, you aren't imposing on anyone and nobody is going to hate you for it.

[-] PelicanPersuader@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

It gets better. Seriously. You will find your people and be happy. It's just gonna take about seven or eight more years. I promise, life is worth living and you're gonna do great.

[-] fushuan@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

carry on, life is great. Endure and you will be happy. It suck right now but you will spend way more time happy than sad.

[-] LongPigFlavor@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

Your parents getting divorced and you should tell your parents to get you diagnosed for autism. Especially since we used to be mute when we were younger and we were also in special ed and rode the short bus.

[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

"You are not responsible; you were loved and wanted. Don't lower your head. Dare to speak your mind. Don't be afraid to tell others what you go through. You are going to be a bigger person than you expect."

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Run away from home and stay gone as soon as you can. Never talk to your parents again.

[-] geco2@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Don't stop Martial Arts training!

[-] Firemyth@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Your life isn't going to be "normal" and it's not your fault. You are going to be different and it's not because you are better or worse. just different. Just do your best and that's all anyone can want from you.

[-] KrimsonBun@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago
[-] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Plenty of people you love end up killing themselves.

Maybe it's not such a terrible idea to precede them and save yourself the grief of abandonment.

[-] Today@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I'm sorry you've lost people you love and feel alone.

[-] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

You're good people. They got rarer and rarer the older I got. Glad to see they do still exist.

[-] Rocky60@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Say no more often.

[-] lemann@lemmy.one 4 points 1 year ago

Get a family member to invest big money in AMD and Tesla.

Keep feelings to yourself and be cautious of ladies.

[-] candle_lighter@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago
[-] HeneryHawk@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 year ago

Little me, you haven't got the time to hear it

[-] bluebadoo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

There will be a time when manipulative charisma will feel strangely like love and home. Don’t listen, learn what real love feels like.

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[-] lemminator@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

Please don't let your dad marry that cunt who'll become your absolute doom in the future. She may seem nice and warm but it's a fucking facade. She's a fucking cunt and they will destroy every inch of happiness you have.

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this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
135 points (100.0% liked)

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