435
submitted 10 months ago by Garibaldee@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] hypnotoad__@lemmy.ml 76 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

No friends, for the rest of their fucking lives. I hope 50 grand was worth your fucking soul. Bootlicker extreme

[-] Garibaldee@lemm.ee 37 points 10 months ago

I do wonder if they wanted to be caught on some level chilling in a McDonalds on a laptop with a ghost gun in their backpack and a similar outfit, but more info will probably come out.

[-] PineRune@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

If he wanted to be caught, it's possible he made an anonymous tip on himself and the workers caught the blame. Just a thought.

[-] Garibaldee@lemm.ee 13 points 10 months ago

Yeah I mean if this is the person and they were an Ivy league educated tech worker with no background in violence/war, one might feel pretty guilty and out of sorts after killing someone regardless whether that person deserved it or not, many things are possible

[-] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 1 points 10 months ago

They’re not even getting the money. What a ducking joke.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 39 points 10 months ago

This isn't even humor at this point. I'm legitimately starting to think The Onion is in the midst of transitional changes to becoming a legitimate news outlet that just reports news.

Like this one doesn't even seem absurd or funny. It just seems like the logical reaction people will have. This just comes off as a legit news report on an aburd situation. Rather than an absurd mocking news report on a realistically fake situatuation.

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 45 points 10 months ago

The joke here is a little more subtle. It's that this particular Maccas was already 1 star, so these reviews aren't actually hurting it. The reviews are just changing the reason given for being 1 star.

[-] Garibaldee@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

This isn't even the onion if you look at the link

and from the description of this community

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago
[-] Kernal64@sh.itjust.works 33 points 10 months ago

I truly hope that rat is shunned and shamed everywhere they go.

[-] PrimeErective@startrek.website 29 points 10 months ago

I heard it was some boomer customer that ratted him out

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago
[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 10 months ago

It fits my bias so I believe it

[-] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 29 points 10 months ago

On NPR.... "The real hero...." Fuck you McDonald's asshole! Let us known when you realize how stupid your decision was.

[-] style99@lemm.ee 23 points 10 months ago

I would seriously never speak to someone again if I learned they were on a jury that convicted Luigi.

[-] Sergio@slrpnk.net 19 points 10 months ago

Maybe they'll use the 50k to escape Altoona and move to a country with better health care.

[-] maxalmonte14@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

This make me chuckle LOL.

[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 16 points 10 months ago
[-] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 10 months ago
[-] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

The constant search for who to demonize is the never-ending mission of social justice keyboard warriors.

To seek out new perps and new complicit ones.

To boldly blame those no one has blamed before.

this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
435 points (100.0% liked)

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