Don't be fooled by maps. Bridges and tunnels back up quickly, and trains are occasionally delayed. Expect your commute to be double whatever Waze is currently estimating, and some days you will be pleasantly surprised that it only takes that long.

Also, $4k a month for rent is not going to get you very much within that radius. You can find a 1 bedroom, maybe a small 2 bedroom flat, but I would budget for $5k if you definitely want a separate room for the baby.

$220k is a lot of money. Congratulations on your success. But if you work in NYC, it won't feel like a lot of money. On the other hand, living there is an experience unlike anywhere else in the world. You might love it, you might hate it, but at least you'll never have to wonder about it.

We’re on the verge of a fascist takeover. You probably shouldn’t come here.

These other commenters are wiiild. The median household income in Manhattan is $100k.

You will 100% be in the top income earners in the city.

Also, the 33% for housing rule doesn't make a lot of sense at your income level. Unless you have a serious cocaine habit, you will have no problem living off $5k with your family after expenses. Prices for food are markedly lower than most of Europe and there's not VAT on things like clothes or groceries.

Granted, housing is expensive, but when you subtract the average annual cost of car ownership (roughly $15k post tax, $22k pre tax, according to the IRS), it's really not a terrible deal.

Throw in $35 balcony seats to the Metropolitan opera and a couple family museum memberships and you will have no shortage of world class cultural events to attend for cheap.

If you take taxis everywhere, eat takeout frequently, and send your kids to private school, you will quickly burn through that money, but I lived off $12k while working in restaurants as a single young person. I didn't starve, I paid my rent, and I did alright.

I've never been to NYC, but I live in a nearby state and ran a cost of living comparison report. My salary is close to yours in terms of comparison. It allows a middle class lifestyle - middle of the road housing, transportation, takeout once or twice a week, some hobbies, vacation once a year. I don't have a family so you may need to be a bit more frugal.

It's crucial to have a nest egg set aside in case you lose your job because social services are minimal. Also bear in mind that most US jobs don't offer a pension, but instead your job likely offers a 401k or IRA. That's usually not enough to retire on, especially if you plan on renting, so try to budget for investments if you ever plan on retiring.

In 2009 I lived in Manhattan on 80k/yr and it sucked. 5years later I was at 165k and as a single guy I was finalyl able to live somewhere "nice" in brooklyn 3 stops from wall street and it was great. Only problem was that there was no way I was ever going to be able to afford to buy anything.
So I'll say if you are ok renting your whole life, 220k is plenty and there are a lot of good options for now. If you want to eventually buy a place, you may have to compromise.

$220K is probably tight in NYC proper, but commuting in from a suburb is do-able.

Rule of thumb is no more than 1/3rd of your income on housing. So... 220K/12 = 18,333.33 per month, /3 = $6,111.11 rent or mortgage.

3+ bedrooms... woof...

https://www.realtor.com/apartments/New-York_NY/beds-3

Flushing, NY looks do-able, but you'd need to check the crime stats, livability, commute times, etc. etc. Just in raw terms of commute, looks like 30 minutes by train from Flushing to Manhattan. Your mileage may vary. :)

https://www.rome2rio.com/s/Flushing/Manhattan

OTOH:

https://www.areavibes.com/new+york-ny/flushing/crime/

Flushing crime rates are 75% higher than the national average

Violent crimes in Flushing are 117% higher than the national average

In Flushing you have a 1 in 25 chance of becoming a victim of crime

Flushing is safer than 39% of the cities in New York

Year over year crime in New York has increased by 35%

The single biggest expense is going to be housing so if you’re smart with your choices and find something that both accommodates your family and your generous income, you should be fine. As with anything in life, you just have to manage the money and understand where to spend and we’re not to spend. Great thing about a place like New York City is that there a lot of things you can do for free with the little ones.

Comments are wild. $220k is a sizable salary in the US, entry level working professionals usually start pushing 80k nationally, ~$140k in larger cities like NY and San fran. Realistically you need to ask some questions:

Are you paying double income tax? It's safe to assume 25-40% of your income will be going towards taxes for EACH government if you retain citizenship.

Do you need to live in New York for your visa? You mentioned new jersey, but Connecticut ect, also has reasonable public transportation to the city.

Are you expecting major expenses like a car, medical, credit card bills or student loans? Are you paying relocation fees? US typically requires first and last month payment. And new york real estate is brutal. Do you have a nest egg if something falls through? Do you need to pay for a lawyer to process your travel visas?

Yes, it's plenty. Things like private school will be the biggest financial strain after housing. Since your daughter isn't school age yet it won't be an issue.

Regarding housing - yes you will be able to find something in that price range. If you live in Manhattan the commute to work won't be bad.