Okay Mr speedy gonzolaz, I can see your high powered LED sun beam headlights that are so far up my tail pipe my engine compartment looks like a disco.

I get you want to pass me. I want you to pass me to so you can get to your DWI faster. Unfortunately I am going 75mph in a 65mph speed zone and there are a whole line of stoners driving 45 to the nearest source of frozen pizza filling the right lane.

Yes, i can see you are somehow immune to speeding tickets and want to go 95mph. No I don't want to get over in the right lane and go 45mph just for you my special boy.

Please wait one half of a minute while I clear this conga line of slow pokes and then you will be free to speed off to your inevitable demise.

People who think freedom of speech also means freedom from consequences.

Bigots being criticized is proof the system is working.

Fucktards voting for fascists.

Cars going into the pedestrian crossing area at red lights

Grains of sand

Uber/Dash drivers parking wherever suits them, blocking lanes. Inconsiderate pricks!

Then I get annoyed at the companies forcing them to meet unrealistic expectations or they stop getting jobs.

Then I get annoyed at myself for getting annoyed at the poor bastards busting their asses to make a living in a system that treats them as entirely replaceable.

Shifting a manual transmission incorrectly

Mostly pedantic language things like people misusing "empathy" (it's not a synonym to sympathy god-damn-it) and "disinterested" (not synonymous to uninterested god-damn-it). Misuse of semicolons is especially frustrating to me; there are so many people out there, who do not understand the weight difference a semicolon creates, and then thoughtlessly use it to seem smart (wink, wink).

Doesn't matter how many times I do laundry, my clothes still get dirty :(

People who don’t return their cart to the cart corral in the grocery store parking lot

That innocent people will die due to selfishness and bigotry. And that it is decidedly ok.

People who act like they are blind to others in the supermarket. Not making space for others, blocking us with their trolley etc. It's not a museum.

Neighbors running their leaf blowers for hours and super early or late in the day

Here's a really small one: when one of my toenails has a sharp corner to it that snags on the sheets.

People spelling "seperately" instead of "separately".

People on the motorway overtaking you just so they can drive slower than you once they're in front of you. I always wonder why did they bother overtaking in the first place.

I work with doctors who are probably the most well educated people in the world, and I have lost esteem of their intellect for several of them for an assortment of reasons, largely COVID related:

1. Asked me how to spell tax, born English speaking.
2. A neurosurgeon who cuts into people's brains routinely barely got the required vaccinations for COVID to stay employed, and assured me children don't need COVID vaccines because they are immune, tried to work mask free long before mandates were lifted, and grabbed my hand and shook it during a lockdown point where we were all decidedly not touching each other.
3. Assured me I didn't need any more COVID vaccines beyond the two. I have had nine.
4. Assured me I didn't need to wear an N95 during Delta.
5. Spelled God Gaud.
6. Wildly incorrect diagnosis where he should have known better.
7. They mostly don't respect trans people, most doctors don't.
8. Said his patients are all nuts.
9. Cheap as dirt and highly ungrateful for the people that work for them.
10. Has a violent case of BPD and was so abusive she was dismissed.
11. Tried to murder his ex.
12. Beat his ex.
13. Did murder his ex.
14. Borrowed money from patients twice, sexually abused his patients twice, lost license thankfully.
15. Would be kicking the wall in the OR if she got angry instead of tending to her patient under anesthesia.

Also nurses. Why are so many nurses so shitty? Even beyond the antivax ones, I know nurses who would steal insulin to euthanize animals at home (which is NOT humane), nurses who said about a suicide victim "Well she got what she wanted", nurses who showed me pictures in the act of threesomes, nurses who stole anesthesia meds for sleeping, nurses who ended up in relationships with patients, and nurse managers who I'm quite convinced were sociopaths, who told one of the clerks that she was a body at a desk and easily replaced.

I realize we're all human but fuck it's awful how many of them are perfect idiots.

Saying “orientated” rather than “oriented”. There’s no need for that extra “ta” in the middle, it’s a useless syllable.

People speaking on their phone using a loudspeaker.

People who don't understand basic elevator etiquette and attempt to walk in before people get off.

People who play Karaoke loud enough for anyone outside of their home to hear.

People who drive two motorbikes / bicycles beside each other and talk, thereby blocking traffic.

People who cut in line.

People who don't clean up after their pets.

People who get angry at the animals and not the owners for the above.

People who display a total ignorance of the most basic facts regarding other countries.

Dysfunctionally incompetent and/or lazy staff (beyond what is acceptable for low income workers).

Bureaucrats who clearly prioritise covering their ass over performing the most basic functions of their job.

People who are rude/dismissive to others who are smaller/weaker/meeker than them.

Racist taxi drivers.

Asshole bus drivers.

People who don't apologise when they are wrong and know it.

I can think of more but I'll stop there.

When the mods ban US politics the day after an election.

People who leave their shopping carts in the middle of the aisle and then walk away.

People who leave their shopping carts in random spots in the parking lot.

People that drive 20 under the speed limit in the left lane.

My family refusing to lower the tv volume and then blaming me staying up at night because of said volume on my phone

When people use "different" with a preposition other than "from". (Different to, different than)

I know it's not technically wrong, but it just feels so wrong.

Also, when people add a phantom R between two words. "I'm a big fan of cinema 'r' and video games."

Both stem from me not being a native English speaker, I think.

I don't understand why people cannot move as soon as they get on an escalator. The train station smells like piss and there's pigeon shit everywhere. Let's fucking move it!

Local council food scrap bags. We're supposed to separate our food waste and store it in compostable bags made of cornstarch plastic. Which start to break down the moment you put something wet in there, like food tends to be. How hard is it to design a bag that stays intact from Wednesday to Wednesday?!

Whatever, now my wife has her own compost bin I can cut out the middle man.

Office Politics

Soap or shampoo that smell like (and better than) food. Why??

For some reason it bothers me greatly when people talk about the number 2 being special because "it's the only even prime number". Like of course, that's literally how they are defined. It's like saying "did you know 3 is the only prime number divisible by 3?"

I want to find the man who put sound effects in Microsoft Minesweeper, whenever that happened? When it went from grey Windows 95 looking to the blue background and the smiley face disappeared. I want to find the guy who put those sound effects in the game, and I want to hand plane his scrotum off and then send him home with nothing holding his testicles on but his fruit of the looms.

Sand and lack of oil.

Smart ass replies aside, if I'm low on sleep, anything - and I do mean anything - has the potencial to grind my gears.