I don’t feel too late to learn anything so far.
How to properly manage a budget and how do credit cards work
Manage your finances. Know where every penny goes. Budget as best as you can - plan for all of the things you know you spend money on through a year. It doesn't mean you can't spend money on things you like, but it does mean that you know when you can afford it. It gives you confidence and control no matter how much you are making.
There are some services I use that make like a million charges under a dollar. Those are really hard to manage so I use a privacy card with a spending limit to keep track of them.
That I am a girl
Stoicism. The philosophical ideas of how to live a purposeful and good life.
My family is never going to return the favor. Should've gone to school instead of taking care of them.
"Family first" is such a contemptible load of crap. Primarily this idea only seems to be brought out by the same exact people that then abuse the notion.
"Family first" is unidirectional. Parents put their kids first. That's the job. I signed up for it, and I'm going to prioritize then as much as I can.
That's a bit different, and as it should be, but then it's likely clearer to just directly state the intent to protect the future generation.
"Family first" in my experience has always referred to the lateral or upstream bloodline. Deadbeat parents or lazy piece of crap siblings trying to justify grift or outright abuse.
I'm an ideal world, the phrase wouldn't exist and people would just be decent; parents would prioritize their children and siblings etc would just help each other. I wish this were the case, but as with many others I've instead come to trust and rely on found family instead of bloodline.
And I'm forever in debt to my daughter. I will never expect her to put my life or needs before hers. My disgust at my own parents' egotistical failings only magnified after personally experiencing becoming a parent.
Family is a sorting category word though, so while there's truth to kids first, the phrase regarding family first is very very often abused to try forcing the hand of broken ties between the aging parent wanting the child to instead provide regardless of whether it's deserved or not. It's frequently an excuse for abusive siblings who've continually taken advantage of their kin.
Bluntly, relation is pure chance and does not immediately imply a debt with exception from "parents must care for their child" by social and biological need. I don't owe my physically and mentally abusive parents or brother a damned thing except my disgust.
People in general, not just kin, need to earn respect and community with each other. The bond of parent caring for child doesn't immediately imply the child owes the parent for "bringing them into this world", and instead implies a larger scope debt toward that child then being indebted to any children they subsequently bring into this life.
Thanks for sharing your story and view. On a side note, your language is superb. Do you write as career / hobby?
Heh, thanks! No but my girlfriend hates that I don't. I grew up reading books that my other (not crappy) older brother did and his influence greatly impacted my interest in science and language.
One brother is a psychopath, the other is literally the type of scientist that is changing the world. I've considered trying at writing some once I finish cleaning up my life from the people I've had to excise.
For what it's worth, I just have spent my life having to constantly revise how I communicate and sometimes it helps. Usually it just annoys people if they aren't really interested.
It is a joy to accurately communicate with people who care you. It is also a joy to annoy others who don't.
Please write. Please write.
Lying can get you ahead in the immediate, but then you’re a liar, and liars lose friends and alienate people.
Grace Periods.
I'm glad I know them now, because for the longest time, I thought I was in a fucked situation whenever my finances were tight. Like if I was due a bill and my pay cannot cover it because of the dates being different. It used to make think that I had to take a hit and just roll with it. But no, some of my bills allow me a brief grace period where I can gather resources in time. Sometimes I'll even stretch my money beyond some grace periods if it means that I can upkeep some resources then just pay the difference later.
That I'm autistic and signs of psychological abuse.
Take it sleazy. Not for everyone, but for some people the most productive way of getting stuff done is doing it with less effort. Don't go too fast and burn out
Asklemmy
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~