We are in a climate emergency that must be drastically dealt with immediately.

I'd go with "Hey, it's God. I actually AM real, but I'm heading out. You guys are on your own from now on, no more afterlife or anything. So be good to each other! Alright, I'm out. (oh, and just some advice? you might want to get ahead of this climate change thing)"

"MothBookkeeper is the dictator of the world, and I completely trust his decisions."

Nevermind the logistics of that; power lives where people believe it does.

Then I could make multiple beneficial changes, such as:

• Heavily taxing the rich
• Enacting drastic climate policy
• Banning paper stickers that rip as you try to take them off
• Sending Mitch McConnell on a rocket into the sun

"You lost the game"

Don't be a dick

Honk honk it’s the goose

Everyone! I am Son Goku and I need your energy to defeat Majin Buu!

Hear me out first.

'Gender critical' theory. Everyone should have this theory, as originally defined, planted in their head. Men would only associate 'masculinity' with their role in providing semen for procreation. Women would only associate 'femininity' with their role in providing eggs for procreation.

There would be no gender-non-conformity because there would be no ideas about gender to conform to. A minority of men would, as an everyday thing, wear dresses. It would be impossible to verify that someone was a woman or not (short of x-raying their uterus).

The important thing, is that if this happened, the people currently claiming that they're 'gender critical' would lose their freaking minds.

“The purpose of your life is to make others happy”

Put that in the head of all the ‘players’.

There is no God.

What's that? Oh shit, can they hear us? Turn it off, TURN IT OFF!

The irresistible urge to consume at least one billionaire. They would think that if they don’t eat a billionaire they would die. Hilarity would ensue.

Give them all a vision of the Earth from space. Look at that, all ya sonsa bitches.

“You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch.’”

— Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut, People magazine, 8 April 1974.

The Earth is dying and it can live on without us once we are dead.

"On the count of 3, jump!"

I'm just curious to see what would happen.

The experience of being the victim of real violence. It's pretty clear most people don't really get it. And it's weirdly common for people to have romantic ideas about fighting, revenge, punishment, war, and even torture. I think it would be eye opening.

It’s not a thought but I would put empathy

It's a good idea to have government programs to take care of citizens without requiring any strings to get help.

Reject your humanity become a catgirl nyaaa

I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals. In such an economy, the means of production are owned by society itself and are utilized in a planned fashion. A planned economy, which adjusts production to the needs of the community, would distribute the work to be done among all those able to work and would guarantee a livelihood to every man, woman, and child. The education of the individual, in addition to promoting his own innate abilities, would attempt to develop in him a sense of responsibility for his fellow men in place of the glorification of power and success in our present society.

• Albert Einstein

"BE KIND"

Seize the means of production

“All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.”

That Pale Blue Dot speech by Carl Sagan.

Stop buying things

Is "kill yourself immediately" too dark? Probably. But if like three billion people died suddenly and without a massive environmental impact like nukes or some other poisoning of the world, could solve a bunch of problems.

"Dammit I just lost The Game"

The signal your brain gets when you really have to take a shit, right now, or there will be dire consequences.

"Send Squirrel money." (With details, of course. Can't have them giving money to some random squirrel.)

"boobies"

Poop now

Be friendly to someone today.

Whatcha out! He is behind you.

Billions of people turning back at the same time....