It's a European cat, it's been drinking since before it could open it's eyes

Cats don't give a flying fuck about laws of physics, why would they care about human made drinking laws.

plot twist: it's random supermarket boxed wine, the cat is just bullshitting

It all gets pushed off the table in the same smug way…

Is that wine vegan?

Cats mature at a different rate. At 18 months they're "adults", right?

If that's red wine, it's gone bad a long time ago.

He was caught with his elbows on the table so he does this to appear classy