I don't even know what to say. What is wrong with these people?

They say a VP doesn't have much to do.

I suppose filling endless collection cups with his sperm while in office would be an option.

Straight from the couch?

Very normal and very cool, the best people are saying definitely not a cult

Totally not a cult!

Most folks find change between their couch cushions, but I guess this is what you're left with after Vance visits...

I want it to be AI... but it's not.

I bet those "we shouldn't blow up the planet" types are feeling pretty silly right now.

I'm sorry, they are doing what now? I don't believe I read this correctly....especially not on The Onion's site. And they somehow don't see anything weird about this?

gross

Yo, what??

I don't think lack of semen is a gay male couple's problem. 😅

Whatever the type of relationship, there are options to conceive/adopt. Wut.

Shut the fuck up. No. No no no

Anything to own the libs I guess