Yes. I think this is less a tantrum, and more of a "fuck you" from Smirnova to Kharlan, but your interpretation is fine.

The rules state that the competitors must shake hands at the end of a bout, and that the penalty for refusing to shake hands is a black card. At the beginning of the pandemic, this rule was suspended, and was replaced with saluting and tapping blades. It is not clear whether the handshake rule is back in effect at the international level (which in itself is a huge problem - if athletes can't look up the rules, it's hard to follow them).

As an online observer, these are the facts I was able to gather. At the end of this bout, Kharlan offered her blade for the blade tap, and instead of reciprocating, Smirnova offered her hand for a handshake. Kharlan then left the piste without tapping blades or shaking hands, and Smirnova launched her complaint which (per the rules) required her to remain on piste until the issue was resolved. The officials decided the complaint was legitimate, and black carded Kharlan.

All that follows is my own speculation. Kharlan offered the blade tap but was refused. Depending on whether the handshake rule is officially reinstated (and it seems that many athletes at this particular competition were just tapping blades without a handshake) she may have been able to lodge her own complaint that Smirnova was unwilling to tap blades. They could have just had an old fashioned stand-off, with one fencer extending their blade for the tap and the other extending their hand for the handshake, neither willing to compromise, and it would (probably) have resulted in the referee clarifying the rules without penalty to either fencer. But because Kharlan left the piste without tapping blades and without shaking hands, it left an opening for Smirnova to exploit.

I do wish that the FIE would go on record saying whether the handshake rule is fully back in effect. I'm actually a fan of tapping blades, because too many fencers show up to tournaments sick, and shaking hands with everyone is a good way to spread disease. Even beyond that, people often have very sweaty hands, and it's just kinda gross.

The rules are set up to present a ladylike/gentlemanly behavior in the face of good sportsmanship. There is nothing ungentlemanly or unladylike in refusing to shake hands when a sword tap will suffice.

There is also nothing unladylike about not wanting to touch the person who represents your rapists. If the athlete representing Russia doesn't like that treatment, they can choose to participate without representing a nation.

There are simple solutions to all of these problems, but the most important aspect is she had an agreement with the official that a sword tap would be appropriate and acceptable beforehand. Downvotes mean nothing without a response. I can sign up for 10 accounts and manipulate the votes too!

The boyfriend of the russian fencer is currently in ukraine committing war crimes. She is a supporter of that genocide. Would you expect a jewish fencer during WW2 to shake hands with a fencer whose husband is in the SS?

That's easy to say thousands of kilometers removed from the atrocities. There's a high likelihood that someone from her family or friends was killed, raped, or deported by someone from that other athelete's friends or family. Whether or not you agree with the IOC ruling, show some fucking compassion for the athlete.

Furthermore let's not ignore the fact that the Olympics have ALWAYS been politicized, and these things fucking matter. There are entire paragraphs on Jesse Owen's wikipedia speculating on whether or not he shook Hitler's hand, because Hitler snubbed the medal presentations because he was pissed that "coloured people" were winning.
Even taking a completely cynical look at things, the optics are extremely important, and all of this, from both atheltes' behavior to the IOC's reactions, are ALL political statements to a degree or another, and everyone imvolved is a grown-ass adults who didn't have to hide behind a rulebook if they didn't want to.

She competes for Russia, represents Russia at this event and thus has to live with meeting the same response as her country does

That athlete represents the government in an official capacity at a world event. You're making it out like they somehow don't represent Russia.

I can see by your downvote but failure to reply that you believe the athlete does not represent Russia. Then why have country distinctions at all?

Considering how many Ukranian women and children are being literally raped by the Russian invaders, I'd say the comparison is plenty apt!

Your concern trolling is the thing that's insensitive and inconsiderate.