289
top 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 81 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I think we should all try to support anything that lets rich old bureaucrats kill themselves faster if unwanted side effects can be minimized.

[-] nicknonya 26 points 5 months ago

we should convince them that mercury is the secret to immortality again

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

We should heat that shit up and tell them to huff the murica vapors.

[-] Archelon@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

If we learned anything from COVID, all we have to do is tell them that “Liberal Elite “””DOCTORS””” don’t want you using this home-grown remedy!”

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago

Except, like most of what these crooks do, others are harmed by it as well.

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Hmm, that sounds a lot like conservative policies in general.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Yep, that's what I meant by "like most of what these crooks do" heh

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Damn I inadvertedly did a "your comment, but worse". 😂

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

Happens to the best of us 😁

[-] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 3 points 5 months ago

Yeah. There's the hitch in the plan.

[-] Carighan@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

So put in a mass order on cheap second-hand carbon fiber for custom-built submarines?

[-] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 1 points 5 months ago

I like the way you think. Maybe they could even lobby and call in favors against the common good to reserve their seat.

[-] TwistedTree@piefed.social 54 points 5 months ago

They want to build a literal smoke-filled back room in which to cut deals?
Our era is beyond satire.

[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 50 points 5 months ago

Anything besides helping the fucken american people, amirite?

[-] valaramech@fedia.io 14 points 5 months ago

Nah, that would be "socialism".

[-] littlebluespark@lemmy.world 33 points 5 months ago

What. Public restrooms no longer a safe place for homophobes to suck cock by proxy? I thought that was classic Republican 101 stuff right there. What has the world come to‽

[-] redshoepastor@lemmy.world 32 points 5 months ago

God, this tastes like I took a giant bite out of an onion. They are...so serious and committed to having a cigar lounge in the capital building that they are going to stage a cigar sit-in in the office of the SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES while literally doing nothing legislative.

It's just...absurd. The article even read like an Onion piece; same pacing, same over-dramatic statements about minor inconveniences, same "no actual news source like Axios would report on this childish bullshit" feeling.

The original Axios article, with it's serious tone almost feels more oniony: https://www.axios.com/2024/06/16/speaker-johnson-tom-cole-capitol-cigars

How did the absurdity become the norm?

[-] niktemadur@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It became the norm when all those bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe LoL aMiRiTe lazy mediocre idiots enabled republicans into office by not voting in elections.

Nothing of value gets done, nothing of value can get done, when these non-voting idiots keep on allowing republican pigs to take the entire nation on a petulant, ignorant, reckless joyride.

Then when Democrats don't have enough time in power to clean up the mess - all the while being undermined and sabotaged by republicans in a slight minority, consumed by rage at not being the dominant party - the idiots shoot everybody in the foot, including themselves, with their mediocre, myopic mantra... yOu SeE? bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe LoL aMiRiTe

Predictable and flat, like cartoon characters, utterly unintelligent. As much a product of the educational system as their batshit #maga next door neighbor.

[-] radicalautonomy@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago

Resign and you can smoke cigars at home, you pricks.

[-] ricdeh@lemmy.world 19 points 5 months ago

You cannot tell me that this is not the Onion! I would lose my faith in humanity for the billionth time...

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago

They desperately need to go back to the 1820s, it seems.

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 months ago

and they want to take the rest of us with them! Complete with 1820's civil rights, 1820's woman's rights, 1820's pollution and industrial standards....

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

The source of this dire problem is Rep. Tom Cole's transition

Would have been much more fun if the author had "accidentally" stopped the sentence there.

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It'd be cool if he transitioned to former rep

[-] eran_morad@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Shove em up your asses, lit. Fucking cunts.

Ohhhhh… hold on… i think they’re talking about meat cigars.

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 months ago

man i'd love to have a meat cigar rn

[-] cultsuperstar@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Yup, these are the ones chosen to represent "the people", but the only people they represent are themselves.

[-] Blaster_M@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago
[-] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

Roscoe, arrest them Duke boys!

this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2024
289 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12295 readers
1006 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS