Been a good week for me! I ran my first 10k today and did not finish last, so that was a big win. Summer weather is here too, meaning I get to try out all my new flowy outfits and shorts and whatnot. Feeling good!

Also got to see the aurora and take MANY pictures. Truly one of the most beautiful nights of my life. Hope you all are doing well, too!

I managed to get myself into a pretty ridiculous problem.

I wrote a short novel that I wanted to share on here (since it has plenty of trans characters), but there's no way to upload a PDF to Lemmy, and I don't want to use google drive or anything of that sort because of the privacy implications. Well, no big deal, I told myself, I can just upload it into that transreads.org site someone linked the other day. But I wrote it under a pen name, without any mention to this username, and the upload process is completely anonymous, so now I have no way to prove I wrote my own book.

At least the book is still being reviewed, so it's not been released yet and there shouldn't be any other mentions to it anywhere else. So for the record, the book is titled "The witches of Galree" and the pen name I used is Emily Mathison Lovelace. Hopefully that will be enough to prove I'm really the author when the reviewing is over.

Also, if anyone knows a way to share this PDF here, please let me know.

i don't remember the week, but my weekend started out fine with some unscheduled friend gaming hangouts but last night i had a huge anxiety attack and had to cancel a game (scheduled, that i host) and i just remembered i should've been playing pokémon rumble this entire time (it's rumble weekend, would've been my first but i can't stream it)

Whenever I see this repeating post I'm reminded that another week has passed where I actually didn't do anything to get somewhere... and yet my self doubts raises. I try to eat healthier, as in no fast foods, but them Ding Dong fast food delivery... Just to punish myself by eating what I shouldn't do in the first place. I hate this vicious cycle. I want to get somewhere, be someone. It's fruitless :(

A guy friend of mine told me that he notices I seem a lot more feminine lately. Which is neat since I haven't started HRT, or changed how I dress. I like to think I have a feminine confidence coming through now that I fully accept who I am.

I have no alone time for another week. I've been doing much better than I would've expected, and in certain ways better than my baseline even, but I'm tired.

Imposter syndrome is the worst, because it turns even affirmation into dysphoria. My family's all affirmative, I just need a break from everyone. Also autism. Basically, confusing and mixed week.

i haven't bit my finger nails in about 5 days (I'm a bad nail biter)

A sinus infection knocked me on my ass Monday for this week. Went to an urgent care for it, first time to a doc in checks notes 6 ish years? Shocked by how easy it was and (with insurance) how... painless, money-wise. About an hour out of my day and $10 for a round of antibiotics and some form of steroid to help me breathe.

It feels weird to be in a position to take time off and just rest. Feel like a zombie and sleep like one too (I think I slept 14 hours or so yesterday)

very