Mid-Eighties Plymouth Voyager minivan. Put the pedal to the metal, and the damned thing would hardly accelerate, the motor just got louder. Probably would have been quicker if I rolled the window down and flapped my arms. And if you look at one spot too long, that part would break.

Lexus GS300. Great car to drive. But every fucking thing that went wrong was at least £400. Door check strap? £400. Windscreen wiper? £400. Parking sensor? £400, and all eight of them need doing, and that's £400 PER FUCKING SENSOR. Everything's main dealer only. Merc was no better. £600 for a fucking HOSEPIPE. Also tried BMW (bike). Same problem. Had a CANBUS system. I started calling it a CAN'T BUS cos every tiny thing that went wrong shut the entire bike down. Duff indicator? Sorry, won't start the engine until it's fixed. Yes that means it's got to be trailered to the dealer.

No more fancy marques for me, they can all fuck off until I'm a billionaire. I drive Volvos now.

I'm still not quite over it. Whenever the garage tells me there's going to be a big bill on my Volvo I think OMG how many digits, but then they say something like £150. That's a big bill? Hahahahahahahahaha.

Haven't driven a load, but I've test-driven a Fiat Bravo (diesel). The sightlines were terrible, and it handled like a tractor.

The only motor vehicle I've ever driven was a lawn mower tractor. It does its job but gets boring after a while.

Thats a little vague. Worst in what way? Most run down? Worst performing? Worst mileage? Worst cost overall? Oldest? Junkiest?

I may have over simplified. In the UK, especially in Yorkshire, the roads are hilly and twisty. We mostly drive manual cars, so we can ride the engine instead of the brakes when descending long steep hills. The Grand voyager struggled, and while I could lock that slush box of an auto in lower gears, it was not happy about it.