2016 I found a name for my identity, I was 22 (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by LillianVS@lemmy.world to c/asexual@lemmy.world

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It's now 2023, and I fully embrace my identity! To those who are still finding themselves, no matter how young/old you are; people are more complex than words can define; asexuality is a spectrum so even if you don't find a label. That doesn't matter.

Even if the answer isn't with you right now, you may find the answer come to you later. You know your sexuality better than anybody else.

You are worthy of love! Much appreciation for all aces.

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[-] hrimfaxi_work@midwest.social 11 points 1 year ago

I was in my 30s and friggin' married when I figured it out 👀

[-] Oka@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

Ayy there's an Ace community again! I was 25 when I finally pieced it together. Thanks to the resources at /r/asexual.

[-] LillianVS@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Yes! It's here! The more aces the better! - Just as there is a support network on reddit, there belongs one here too!

[-] AceCephalon@pawb.social 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Edit: I did the search in the wrong place, apparently there are some already, nice.

~~I'm curious when Aro/Aromantic might appear on here~~, it was nice occasionally checking there from time to time. And yes, I thought of that because I saw the second bracelet,(? If that's what those are called, I'm not great with putting correct names to things consistently.) and thought it'd be nice to point that one out too, especially as I'm also Aro as well.

[-] LillianVS@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah it is! I love the bracelets they're pretty and glow when they catch light. I don't like wearing them too much only for special occassions I'd be gutted if they broke The ring and the bracelets I got when I was just finding my identity and they mean a lot to me now.

Also yes! I'm Aroace too! I'm not sure if there is an aro community on Lemmy yet. I haven't checked. If there isn't I am not opposed to aromantic content being posted here too as a means to signal boost.

Edit: Seems there is one here: Aromantic Lemmy Community though not sure how active the owner is

[-] AceCephalon@pawb.social 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'd just checked, there's at least two communities, ~~albeit super small, 1-3 people maybe~~ one has 13 as of now, the other has 42.

Edit: I found that one too, as well as aromanticism @lemmy.world, although I'm not sure how to do links to places quite yet. And I linked the same one of two, fixed now, and maybe fixed the link? Unless !aromanticism@lemmy.world is the correct way to link it? ~~I'll just do both and figure it out eventually.~~ Both work on one app, and only one works on two different other apps, neat.

Edit: Somehow typo'd an "n" instead of an "m" again after fixing that last night, for reference, the one starting with ! works on Liftoff, and the one starting with /c/ works on Liftoff, Connect, and Jerboa, and on Liftoff specifically, the ! version opens directly to the community independent of my instance, and the /c/ one opens the community as viewed from my instance.

In the off chance the link to the other one above doesn't work on a specific platform, !aromantic@lemmy.ml might work.

[-] Ragnell@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

@aromanticism or !aromanticism should be the way to do it? I suspect we'll see some changes to stuff like this so the two apps integrate better at some point.

EDIT: Oh, the guy is just sitting on the name to protect it from trolls. Anyone who wants to mod it can ask for it.

[-] Pitri 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think it was 2014 or 2015 where someone suggested to me that I might be aro. either I misheard it or they mispronounced it, but I thought "what? aromatic? what's that supposed to mean?" and kinda dismissed it.

a bit later, maybe also 2016, I stumbled upon the term asexuality. and I found myself in there as well. to me, it was less "omg, I'm not broken!" but more "ah, that's the word for it". I was already kind of aware of my non-existant level of attraction and desire to look for a relationship. I'm sex repulsed, so that made asexuality rather clear.

in terms of being aromantic: I never kissed, hugged or cuddled with the teenage girlfriend I had (into which relationship my mother kinda coerced me into. not out of bad faith, though. I had almost no friends, and she just wanted me to encourage to feel romantic love toward someone and experience how awesome it's supposed to feel)

so, some years later, I also stumbled upon the aro label. even though I knew it was applicable, I didn't really vibe with it for quite some time. maybe because I my sex repulsion made my asexuality a lot clearer and significant than my (I guess) romance indifference.

Today, I've embraced both labels. I'm glad to have found them, because it opened up a world for me to find other like-minded people online (I'm not aware of anyone offline being aro or ace) to share discussions and memes with.

the a-spec community is/was one of the last things I regularly returned to reddit for, if this community finally picks up some steam, I might be able to stay here for good. :)

[-] Ragnell@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I was working the airfield on a military base in the mid 2000s and we had a TV just when you left the hanger to go to the office area. I paused there for a moment when headed back to office because there was some story on AVEN and asexuality and it just... fit. Everything made sense. Hell, one of my HS friends had even jokingly called me asexual as a kid. I remember being just so elated. It was a great moment.

[-] Shou@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

I made up the term at 16. Found out in my 20s that it was real.

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this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023

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