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submitted 3 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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[-] obinice@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Oh my, no. This is like a list of the worst things for me.

I can't concentrate on something if they're are voices in the background, my brain forces me to focus on the voices, I can't tune them out to focus on my main task.

So when I'm working, music helps me focus a little, but it MUST not have vocals. No-Vocals Vaporwave/Synthwave is my jam.

I could never watch two films at the same time, or have a podcast on while I'm trying to watch a film, etc, I hate distractions and background noises while I'm trying to focus on a film.

If I tried to watch two films at once... my brain would just be overwhelmed and I'd be able to watch neither.

I also hate noise in general and cherish blissful silence, so while I do run a fan when it gets very hot, I do my best to avoid it.

Quiet silence is best, the more things like noise assault my senses the more I feel oppressed in my own brain.

[-] rarWars 20 points 3 months ago

This. I got the "physically unable to multitask" ADHD instead of the "needs multiple sources of stimulation" ADHD.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 11 points 3 months ago

I need exactly the right amount of stimulation or nothing is getting done. It is extremely variable.

[-] morbidcactus@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 months ago

I find loud, fast/rhythmic music works best for me. Anything with a d-beat is generally solid, so metal (osdm, trad/speed, thrash, black) and punk (hardcore, crust) make up a chunk of my focus music, definitely not in the multiple sources category either, more of the "drown out everything else so I can only think of one thing" sort.

[-] breg@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

That might be autism. Or you have both.

[-] obinice@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Haha yes it's a strong possibility that I have both, going off what I've learned these past few years of research and community involvement!

It's going to be a looong time before I can get checked for autism though as I'm poor, so for now I just have to wait and wonder :-)

[-] Szyler@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Take the raads-r test. It's so close to a psychiatrist evaluation that it has a high confidence even for a self test. https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/

Just knowing you are autistic and learning about it can improve your life

[-] ghost_towels@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Oh my gosh, same. If I’m trying to concentrate or focus on something there can be no words in music or better yet no music. The only exception to that is a task that is just movement and a playlist with songs I know all the words to. Then I’ll sing while I work. I like classical for the no words, even opera is ok because I don’t know what they are saying. I used to set my alarm in the morning to the French CBC. I don’t speak French so it was just melodic sounds instead of sounding like someone is yelling at me first thing.

I also don’t like watching movies/tv/youtube. I always feel like there’s something else I should be doing. I will watch a movie, but it takes a bit for me to settle and get my brain to realize that that’s what I’m doing. It feels so sedentary. Though I can game for hours haha. I’m doing something! There’s the added bonus that tv is like coffee for me, makes my brain WIRED, then I can’t sleep. Books for the win!

My hearing is quite bad now so that also adds to the feeling of a dull roar of confusion. Yay getting old.

*Edit to say hook me up with the synthwave playlists! Love that sound.

[-] obinice@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Yeah, I find that the music helps me when I'm doing boring work, but as soon as the work requires any real significant focus, like, more than 70% brainpower, I pause the music for a bit so I can really focus.

Here's the one I put on most often! :-)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lwtGOCEVJ7Lo7eell35Di

[-] ghost_towels@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 months ago

Oh wow!! Thank you so much!!

[-] obinice@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

I often spend my time on Lemmy/Reddit feeling and acting bitter and dumb, I'm so angry at myself for this illness and how I've ruined my own life because of it, and I'm angry at the world for all the cruel people and systems causing us to suffer, holding us down, dooming us,

and I do want to be better, kinder, I just don't have any hope and nowhere to put all this anger and hopelessness and misery, and I can't afford ADHD treatment so...yeah. I'm not proud of my little vice/outlet, I suppose.

Anyway my point is, you've been lovely to talk to, thank you for reminding me that some people are genuinely lovely. I most certainly don't deserve it, haha.

Anyway, from here in Manchester England, have a grand day 👋

[-] ghost_towels@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 months ago

Hey! Sorry I didn’t respond sooner, many guests arrived. Awesome playlist! So far every track has been gold. The teenagers love it lol. Many thanks.

Number one, don’t feel guilty about spending time here. You can make it what you want and be a force of good and change or, not. We all need a bit of escape sometimes and I know I am very susceptible to doom scrolling to avoid work/sleep/life in general. But I try to keep my feed as positive as I can while still being informed of what’s going on in the world. That’s a tough line sometimes 🙄. I get not having any hope, it’s just hard, so hard, right now. So much change and uncertainty in the air and no outlet for the stress. Go walk, get outside, exercise is a huge part of adhd management.

I don’t know your situation and how you’ve ruined your life, but I hope you have someone to talk to. Maybe it’s not as bad as your spinning mind is making it? I get into a spiral real easy, so I know how that can go! Have you been diagnosed with adhd? I took a quick look to see if there are any assistance programs for medication, didn’t find anything right away but I’d look into that. Here in BC there is a program that helps pay for it. I was only diagnosed last September in my mid forty’s and medication has saved my life. I have a brain again! Tbh, I almost didn’t make it, my daughter kept me going, I couldn’t bear to never see her again. It has been a long journey to get to this place and now I can see the future again with joy. It’s worth exploring all the avenues to keep in that direction. I unfortunately don’t know the uk health system so can’t offer too much advice. Only that nowadays you have to be your own advocate.

The main thing I want to say is don’t beat yourself up. You’re struggling and most definitely deserve some grace and care, shit is hard right now. One step at a time. Message me if you need a chat or a pep talk! Cheers from the Gulf Islands of BC and have a kick ass day!