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What is an event that altered you in some way?
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If you find that you're having trouble always making "dumb" decisions you might want to get yourself checked out for ADHD. Because I myself have it, and medicated and unmediated isn't a SEA of difference, but it does help. Likewise, someone I know also has it and really harmed themselves with their impulse control. They kept pushing it further and further - until like you said. They're also medicated now, and while they still need to push it (I think it's hardwired) - their level of what pushing it is has come down dramatically.