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submitted 10 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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[-] fossphi@lemm.ee 8 points 10 months ago

everything except ... made me feel guilty learning to find joy guilty free breaks

How‽ This is perhaps the single most impactful problem I've in my life. I just don't know how to beat this. I don't end up doing anything else because I could be doing my thesis. But I also don't do my thesis. Could you talk a bit more about how you got out of this line of thinking? Between this and ADHD I feel like I'm going suicidal. I haven't had a vacation/gap/break ever where I've felt free and happy to enjoy.

[-] Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml 2 points 9 months ago

Honestly, I still haven't fully solved the problem. I wish I could give you a great answer.

Sometimes I have no struggles working and taking breaks, other times I fall into this same trap you've just described. I think it amounts to a lot of different factors — some weird paradoxical mix of procrastination, fear, insecurity, passion, displeasure, and overconfidence.

I've learned, though, to accept certain tasks as completely necessary in life (like doing the dishes) so that I am able to do them guilt free. At least I can do that. I feel you though. In a general sense, I still struggle with the problem.

I think part of it amounts to making a decision and sticking to it rather than being on the fence. Maybe that's discipline? E.g., "this morning I will go on a run, make a nice breakfast, wash the dishes, get started on laundry, read or play music for a bit, and then finally I will sit down to work." Then, when actually executing the first part of the plan, just ignore the ever living fuck out of any feeling of guilt. But, again, I am still putting that into practice.

Good luck to you and me.

[-] fossphi@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

Thanks for the reply :)

Yeah, I think it does boil down to accepting the situation and just doing it. Or forcing the self to do it after rounds of negotiations and arguments. One problem that I see with this- at least for myself- is that it leads to me doing just the bare minimum and then subsequently getting mad. I don't really know, I'm also trying to figure things out for myself. Maybe medication is the answer

this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024
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