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this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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Socializing. Things to say in a conversation don't come to me naturally like they seem to do with other people. Often people remark it's like talking to a wall because I don't know how to come up with an answer to their open questions on the fly. And without that, they see no foundation to build friendship on.
Damn, I really relate to this. When I get nervous because I don't know what to say, I come back with one of my dreaded default responses.
I realized today that people on movies are weird in cute, quirky ways. Most of us are just weird in weird ways.
Also scripted and practiced ways.
It helps if you realize that most people are delighted to talk about themselves, if you can find the right angle. They may be passionate about cars, or gardening, travel, their children.
Also realize that most people have spent a lot of time doing whatever they do, and there are things they know about it that few other people do.
For example, someone who works in a laundry might have insights into the laundry business, or the people who come in late at night or the values of different kinds of detergent.
Someone who works at a mall may well know things about them all that you don't. There may be aspects to their job that they find challenging or painful.
I seem unable to care much about other people (not officially diagnosed on the spectrum, but it seems obvious to most people who know me), but I am interested in the insights they can give me, and I genuinely want them to be happy.
Having a conversation like that also beats sitting around awkwardly.