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Selfhosted
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Nothing good can come out of a federation committee. Invite whoever you want wherever you want and give a little bias to smaller instances, and it should balance itself out.
I dont suggest adding a centralization =) I see two possible and actionable directions:
I'm confused about what you want. Why should I care about lemmy.ml being over run because they didn't put enough resources into their instance?
Because we are here because of content, made by users. I'm thinking about whole "lemmy-verse". If users encounter issues, they just stop using the service. You as an instance owner can choose to not participate. But if somebody already thinks rhat they helps, why not use it?
I'm getting plenty of content. Not sure what the issue is.