personally when it comes to the onboarding im more on the side of "self host your own onboarding, for friends and family and shit, and then federate out from there if needed."

Theoretically doing a clean onboarding shouldn't be very difficult. More involved i suppose, but if you don't have the time to figure out how a federated instance works, (or to properly document it) you shouldn't be on the internet, you have more pressing matters to attend to.