In Australia we believe in equality, so I'll piss off all the states.

Victoria : "afDanistan", wokeville. Small latte drinkers who don't have a driver's licence. Labourers and Stop/Go people on $200,000.

New South Wales: dumb boomers on $3m property. Driving at 80kmh on their Learner drivers plates. Shit at rugby. Sydney nightlife ends at 9pm.

South Australia: "oh yeah I have an auntie there I think." Nothing to do. Their water tastes funny. Churches everywhere. Weird 1.5hr timezone.

Western Australia: If you want to know why there's a wait time for Toyota's, it's bloody WA buying them all. Full of cashed up bogans in lifted land cruisers. Have to watch footy at lunch time because they are 3 timezones away. If you are anti social and don't mind a 6hr drive to anywhere live there.

Tasmania: 10 people live there with a mild sense of imbreeding. Looks kinda nice, but why would you go to Tassy if you can go to New Zealand for the same price.

Northern Territory: biggest employers, the mines and Pine Gap (the CIA base). Otherwise it's Australia's poverty lane.

Australian Capital Territory: Australia's Uni campus. A concrete jungle, a tiny town where we keep the big wigs who are driven everywhere in black BMWs or Camry's.