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Online dating (lemmy.world)
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[-] Moghul@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

Music and entertainment tastes in general tend to be quite personal, so it's probably a bit of insecurity. He'll get over it, just explain that it's not a test, you're just chatting. Maybe share some of yours first or something

[-] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Oh I told him that and I do share mine but they hate it. Imagine being so old they think Thrid Eye Blind, Match Box Twenty, and Goo Goo Dolls is old music.

Haven't even got to classic rock like AC/DC, Aerosmith etc. I don't know what to do.

[-] ProfezzorDarke@feddit.de 13 points 1 year ago

What you need to do? Strip him of his inheritance until he broadens his music taste.

[-] PixxlMan@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A calm, measured response

[-] Marxine@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

People who downvoted this comment can't take a joke apparently. As a parent I wouldn't do this irl, but I laughed.

[-] sveri@lemmy.sveri.de 5 points 1 year ago

Why do you want to do anything at all? How about respecting his boundaries? That would be good start.

[-] Moghul@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

It's not a bad thing to try to bring your kid's boundaries further out. It can be socially good for them to be more open. Then they won't end up like the guy in the meme

[-] sveri@lemmy.sveri.de 1 points 1 year ago

That's just wrong. If you try to push your kids limits without teaching them respecting boundaries and talking to other people respectfully, things like the guy in this picture will happen.

It's okay to have boundaries and we have to teach kids to communicate them in a respectful, firm and friendly manner.

[-] Moghul@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

It is not just wrong. Being respectful of boundaries and trying to push someone's boundaries aren't mutually exclusive. Every person has their boundaries in different places, and if you're not willing to compromise on the small stuff you're going to be the 'fun brake', the guy who causes the innocent fun to slow down to talk about how much you don't want to do it.

Don't get me wrong, there are absolutely boundaries that need to be respected. But there's a difference between something you feel awkward about and something that's against your principles. Pushing your boundaries to eat a meal that you don't like but is otherwise safe isn't the same as pushing your boundaries to get drunk/high.

Another thing is that for the most part, when people try to persuade you to share something slightly personal like music, it's not because they're dicks who are trying to make fun of you. Chances are they're trying to include you in their group, trying to bring you into the collective, trying to become closer friends. They're looking for something to bond with you over. Discussing occupation, education, and personal interests are probably the most basic way to do that.

[-] sveri@lemmy.sveri.de 1 points 1 year ago

While I agree with a lot of things you said I disagree with pushing boundaries.

People that are really interested in him will find a different topic to bond, it's not like music is the only thing on earth.

Also it's okay to be the fun break, it's a chance to get feedback about that and realize you need to find a different social circle that fits better to your own life. Or figure you push your boundaries yourself if you really want to belong.

But nobody has to fit in everywhere and if his boundary is his taste in music then who are we to question that?

[-] Doxatek@mander.xyz 9 points 1 year ago

I agree with this. For some reason I am pretty personal about what I'm listening to as well. Mostly if I know the person asking me won't/doesn't like it I just don't care for them to comment that they don't like it or think it's weird what I'm listening to. Idk

[-] gothicdecadence@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Some people (myself included) tie the music they like to a part of their soul, and exposing that to someone who may treat it with complete disregard feels very vulnerable

[-] Cabrio@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

So because you developed a parasocial relationship with the music you listen to you can't tell someone the name of the song they hear you playing? Because that's what we're talking about here.

[-] Moghul@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I get it, that's not uncommon. I'm always honest and say metal, but if I'm feelin a little crabby I'll just leave it to whatever they think metal is.

"Metal, like HURRRRR?"

"Yep."

If they seem interested or cool about it I'll elaborate, maybe give some examples. And I know that metal doesn't have to be the HURRRRRRR stuff but that's exactly what I like :D

[-] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

My favorite band is one that I tend not to tell people about because it's too much trouble explaining what they are.

It's Sigur Ros, and anyone who knows them knows the struggle.

But it's definitely not some basic 21 Pilots that everyone knows.

[-] quinnly@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago
[-] MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah. Imagine thinking Sigurd Ros is obscure music. If all you listen to us radio maybe. But if you're at all interested in music you will have heard of them.

[-] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

They didn't even fill the Cobb theater in ATL the last time they came.

They're certainly not very popular. I don't know anyone in real life who knows them who weren't introduced by me.

[-] quinnly@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah I guess they aren't as big in the US, that's fair. But they are very popular within their genre and in Europe

[-] lkraider@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

I thought Sigur Ros was pretty well known. Well, in Iceland at least.

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