But I also want people to be better in general; when someone says something hateful (racist, anti-trans etc…) the ability to look at oneself and think “I’m worth more than your comments” and realise that it says more about the person saying the thing than who it is directed at, is a very resilient and powerful thing for someone.

I agree, but I also think that there is a difference between casual racism (where you can call them out in it and they may not have even realised the harm), and the edgy, trying to offend people or just angry at the world hateful comments.

And as has been mentioned, it's virtually impossible to understand the relentlessness of it if you aren't in one of the targeted groups. For many people, an online space is the only sanctum from their day to day real life attacks. Let's not make people see hate speech they don't want to see.

It's also not our job to convince nazis that hitler was wrong. You can't change peoples values through discussion, values must be lived to be changed. You could argue that by geting nazis and LGBTQIA+ to meet and get to know each other can help the nazis change their views, and this is possibly true. But this required a dedicated space where people choose to participate, and that is carefully facilitated. Lemmy.nz is a general NZ community and is not in a position to take on a role like that.

I get where you're coming from, but let's first built a welcoming and friendly community. If we let the hate speech in with the hope of empowering people, we will end up with no community at all.