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femboys and egg culture rule
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
How to get out of an uncomfortable egg culture situation with this one simple trick.
Real talk: Calling people eggs is a violation of the egg prime directive, and is considered invalidating as you are trying to say that a person is not the gender they identify as, that their identity is invalid. Don't call people eggs, like ever, it's extremely uncool.
untortunately it's part of hon culture to call amab ppl who do steretypically fem things eggs
"hon culture"
/TTTT/ and its consequences has been a disaster for the human race.
Hard agree, I just got a case of the brainworms during my last mental breakdown phase (still ongiong). I did/do hate myself enough enough to browse it for a while (luckily I never rly posted/participated and only been there for a short while). Also deleted the app I used to acces the chans but I'm still sorry for all the ppl on /lgbt/ bc I feel the pain and dysphoria lvls
Some vocabulary, however, is just accurate and fitting imo.
Fyi: I'm against the full medicalization of trans-ness and think a model akin to the on of neurodivergency would be a good pov. (fuck truscums, tho as I said I feel sorry for their lvls of hatred, as I can very much relate).
But they are right about some things like the toxic positivity in many trans spaces, especially hugboxing.
I understand the breakdown but the brainworms are still really present even in this comment. So I'm gonna rant a little.
The issue "hon culture" and the term "hon" in general is that it others non passing trans women.
TTTT has such a huge self hating obsession with non passing, that they elevate it and create something that doesn't really exist outside their twisted world view.
The irony is that many of them do pass, they just have a horriblly mysogynistic view of women that they directed inwardly at themselves. Cis women don't really get to chose the woman they get to be either and many if not most would fail those standards.
The term toxic positivity and hugboxing is also largely misunderstood. Everytime I've seen it it's just TTTT people complaining that they can't spread their bile, or that they didn't get the masochistic hit of self hatred. People being overly supportive is not nearly as toxic as the alternative.
I understand why you feel the way you do. I'm probably one of those toxicly positive people you are taking about, but I still feel the same kind of dysphoria and self hatred too.
But I also know I don't have to let that same hated control me or my actions. And I know I would never direct it towards or even enable it in my trans siblings.
TL;DR: no /TTTT/ is wrong about everything
the one time i visited that board, the first thing i saw was a thread of a bunch of absolutely adorable girls sharing selfies with "it's over" and other fatalistic comments, really sad
I agree with your take on passing and that the warped self perception is harmful.
What I was getting at with the toxic positivity: Some ppl will literally call everything that moves in a gnc way an egg ("wdym you identify as cis? But you cross dress and do things which do not correspond with your agab. You must be an egg" which itself perpetuates harmful stereotypes. Another example would be all those "are you trans test" which just ask you stereotypical question and will categorize in the gender binary). Will lie about appearances and voice when asked for genuine feedback, as well as display overly aggresive confidence in their ignorance of others insecurities/anxiety/issues (e.g. "why don't you come out at work, I was perfectly fine,just put on a wig; you just need a little push.") Was not talking about being denied the ability to promote self hatred
and if my comment seemed to direct hate at others I am sorry about that, since it wasn't my intention to do so.